11/20/2004

Great Answer

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Thursday was pretty hellish. First off, EA came to the school to speak with students. Since my department’s chairperson (and boss) could not attend, I was sent to assume his place and take notes. Under normal circumstances, this wouldn’t have been such a big deal, but I was pretty sick that day (and slowly getting worse by the hour), and if I had a choice, I would have much rather been home.

The game publisher came in form of a lone representative who began the day off with a presentation. The goal was not only to show what they’re looking for in prospective employees, but to let everyone know what they’re all about; apparently, they don’t make video games, but instead “interactive entertainment.”

Okay, perhaps its a bit immature to mock the guy’s PR driven spiel, since he was only doing his job, but the thing is, after hearing for so long people complain what a large monster EA has become, it finally didn’t hit me until right then and there. It first started to click when I saw the gleeful look in the guy’s eyes as he played an except from MTV’s Game Mods, a show in which they take character models from games and have them dance to pop music (we all saw some Sims dance to Outkast’s hit last year, plus the ladies from SSX shake their asses to some rock song that I couldn’t identify). It’s obviously a fulfillment of a great goal, a high water mark for the company.

EA is the largest game publisher in the entire world, making them the most powerful player in the fastest growing form of entertainment today. I know hearing such marketing factoids is positively eye roll-inducing (it does for me, and I actually enjoy video games), but it’s an undeniable fact. EA alone rake in over three billion dollars annually, easily out-grossing Hollywood box-office numbers. Besides film, they even have the music industry by the balls; apparently all the licensed drivel that EA features in their games are given to them, with no fees or anything. Considering how greedy and hurt the music industry is, that say a lot.

As for the rest of the presentation, its certainly felt like becoming a part of EA is more like joining a cult than anything else. I suppose everyone getting five free games (whopee!) and $200 towards a bike or a console is cute and all (and it’s certainly a helluva lot more than I ever got from Ubi Soft), but everything else seemed to indicate an indentured slave-esque experience. Hell, even a lunch break isn’t really a break for the average EA employee when one is supposed to listen to a parade of guest lecturers. It’s supposed to sound all great and all, like big brother actually cares and shit, but anyone who’s worked for a big business knows that the Kool-Aid tastes bitter as hell unless you’re in the upper management making all the good money, and from the hard work of those below you (and I’m sure they’re the only ones who are using the tennis and basketball courts highlighted in all the picturesque shots of the 7,000 studios EA has worldwide). And the bottom line is the fact that they were so open about it all shows not only pervasive, but how effective it ultimately is as well.

The true highlight of the day was when a student asked the question “What about the lawsuit that’s been issued against EA in regards to outstanding unpaid overtime?” The response the EA rep gave was classic. He started by saying “This past week was pick on EA week by the press” and went on to proclaim that no one should heed reports from the internet, which led the student to reply, “I didn’t read it online, it’s been published in the papers.” Again, at a loss for words, he rambled on about how the industry as a whole needs to change their ways and act more responsibly (gee EA, at this point, aren’t you the whole industry?). But the student simply didn’t let up; he asked if EA makes more money than Hollywood, why can’t it pay its workers fairly? Again, the guy had no real answer other than saying that with the high wages the average employees earn, plus bonuses (I’ll bet you anything he was referring to those five free games), is more than sufficient. Then he went on about how management is well aware of this and is doing everything they can to rectify the matter. In fact, they just sent out a survey to all its employees to gauge how they feel about working conditions. It was promised that all answers would be kept totally anonymous and confidential. Yeah right. I’ve heard word that the survey was leaked via the internet (of course) and the questions range from ridiculous to far too personal.

At the end, as the rep was wrapping things up, he pointed out to the entire audience how I was writing notes the entire time, which apparently made him nervous throughout. When I stated that I wasn’t a student but an employee, the whole room chuckled, and so did the guy, but nervously so. Then he added “At least your not a member of the press!” Of course, I really didn’t have the heart to tell him right then and there.

As for the rest of the day, he reviewed student demo reels and then there was a ultra fancy dinner, along with some other school officials. Now, I’m always happy for the chance for a free dinner, but the food simply did not sit well with me at all. Maybe I’m just too much of a hamburger and fries kind of guy. Then again, being sick and not wanting to eat, yet forcing it down one’s throat in an effort to not look rude is going to make anything taste pretty bad, but it was really bad. The worst was dessert. I mean, how can one possible make cheesecake gross, right? Making it super dry and having “stuff” (I think they were nuts?) buried inside that resembled toenail clippings.

By the time I got home, I was a total wreck. I didn’t do the radio show of course, and instead went straight to bed at 10. For the next three hours I would have a really brief dreams (they’re fuzzy, but I recall all of them being highly annoying for various reasons) and then wake up. This happened about a dozen times over the course of three hours. I wanted nothing more than to fall into deep sleep but simply couldn’t; too many things were coursing through my mind (which would often turn up in the aforementioned annoying dreams), and I was helpless to stop any of it.

Frustrated, I decided to get up and take some more cough syrup. I soon realized that I had a massive headache, so then I took Advil. Then I realized that the room was stuffy, so I turned on the AC. But I was still feeling hot, so I felt my forehead and it was pretty hot. I stumbled around for a washcloth but couldn’t find any, so I took a sock and made that wet to cool my head down. Worked for a bit, but then I felt nauseous. In less than five minutes I threw up, which was mostly the cough syrup (yuck indeed, and it felt like hell coming up). Normally that helps, but I actually felt worse and tried throwing up again, and this time there was nothing except painful dry heaves. I think I literally wriggled around my bed and moaned before passing out. I finally did manage to fall into deep sleep… 14 hours worth… before waking up the next afternoon. Needless to say, I missed work.

I took Friday afternoon pretty easy. I felt a bit better (and sounded better too; according to MK I sounded like crap in a phone conversation I had with here right before going to bed which I honestly cannot remember taking place) but was still fairly week. I would have stayed in all day until my roommates decided to make lunch, which consisted of deep fat frying something (of course) so I had to get out of the apartment for some fresh air. Jesus fuck, do they have to deep fat fry every fucking meal? I think Jason pretty much hit of the nail: if you’re diet consisted of eating hoofs and testicles, you’re probably deep fat fry the hell out of everything to dull the taste.

By evening time, I was in okay enough condition to check out the first night of the Energy fest, which I’ll write about once the whole weekend is done.

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