“Dude, this is gay, you can’t bite people”

- First up, it’s no real secret that I’m becoming quite discontented with the world of video game journalism. Don’t get me wrong, I love getting paid to play games… not only is it fun, but super simple to do. Hence why I can’t understand when people bitch about it (some folks think playing a bad game is the worst thing in the world, or it’s some noble endeavor that no one else would ever want to approach) let alone when they do such a shitty job of it.

The print publication Game Informer recently reviewed Paper Mario for the GameCube. They gave the game a 6.75. First off, that’s a pretty shocking low score for a game which thus far has wowed most critics. But so what if they feel differently about a game that almost everyone unanimously feels is one of the year’s best games. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, right? Well get a load of their reasoning; the following is from one of the reviewers, Jeremy, and is from that magazine’s forums (the link, by the way, does not work all of a sudden for some reason)…

“Lisa and I both knew that our Paper Mario scores were going to cause controversy. Yes, we know that many people out there will love it. We also know that it is a well-made game. However, it also WILL NOT appeal to many people – I would safely say that more people will dislike it than like it. Why? Like we said in the review, it’s a very kiddie game – it’s target audience is clearly young gamers – I would say 10 and under. For that reason, we had to score it low. Remember, we aren’t scoring games strictly on our personal opinions, we’re also scoring them based on how much we think THE GAMING PUBLIC will like them. We’ve all played games that we personally disliked and scored them well because we’ve known that most people will like them, and we’ve also scored games low that we love, because most people won’t enjoy them.

I hope this helps.”

So basically, they would have given the game, which they admit is very good, a higher score, “had” to lower the score to maintain a certain image (as evidenced by the term “kiddie”) and appeal to a certain demographic. The most telling line is: “We’ve all played games that we personally disliked and scored them well because we’ve known that most people will like them, and we’ve also scored games low that we love, because most people won’t enjoy them.”

Last summer when the same publication reviewed Enter the Matrix (widely regarded as the worst game of last year due in large part to it literally being broken), they gave that game a high score despite admitting that it WAS NOT a good game, but since the Matrix was all the buzz, a high score was somehow deemed appropriate.

I’ve seen some strong examples of piss-poor game journalism, but this tops them all. I know a review is ultimately just an opinion, but still, the arrogance which GI displays simply shows how severely flawed the way business is handled, not amongst themselves, but in general. And some people wonder why game journalism is not taken seriously?

I guess it’s somewhat appropriate that the following article also surfaced just a few days ago: 7 Bad Mistakes That Good Game Journalists Make. It’s definitely a great read and totally spot on. But what was most interesting was witnessing the reaction. Those who read game magazine obviously echoed each sentiment, but almost every game writer and editor, while also agreeing with everything that was said, was still unwilling to offer much hope for any change for the future.

- As mentioned before, I finally got a new PS2 (the unit which I’ve been borrowing to play review copies, for whatever reason, cannot properly play regular games or DVDs), which means I’ve been doing plenty of catch-up game playing the past week or so. And this includes…

Gradius V - Well, it’s nice when a game lives up to the hype. Quite simply, this is one of the finest shooters of all time, and easily the best game from Treasure since Radiant Silvergun (which will always remain the top shooter in my book). The game looks good, sounds good, and plays better than good. Treasure was very smart when they decided to incorporate elements from Life Force (the Gradius “side story” series); I screamed for joy when I saw the second level’s first mid boss (especially with that music).

BTW, Gamestop did in fact end up sending the bonus DVD afterall, so I have to give them credit. Too bad it wasn’t worth the wait. I haven’t checked everything out, but thus far, all the videos I’ve seen have been poorly compressed. Plus the super-plays are hardly impressive, and there’s barely enough content to fill a regular CD, let alone a DVD. Meanwhile, in Japan they got 2 DVDs worth of content, and I heard their those super-plays are insane, but couldn’t be brought over for legal reasons. What the fuck? Konami does own the rights to the game… what, do the players have copyrights over their performances or something?

Dog’s Life - I don’t know why, but I’m really enjoying the game thus far. Despite it’s rough edges, and extremely annoying camera, there’s something just fun (and relaxing) about simply running around and barking like a “dumb dog”.

PaRappa the Rapper 2 - I was close to the end of this game right before my first PS2 blew it’s fuse, so I decided to finish it off. As much as I love the first one, the sequel just doesn’t have it. The music is not nearly as catchy or charming, the story way too complicated, and even the graphics appears worse in a way. But the gameplay, which despite supposed fixes, is actually more broken than before. I was rapping sloppy as hell in most of the final round, and it all registered as good, but then I messed up just a slight bit twice near the very end, and it was instant game over.

Breath of Fire V: Dragon Quarter - The main reason I got Mega Man X Command Mission, besides being a Mega Man whore, was because it was by the same team responsible for Dragon Quarter, which I had heard nothing but good things about ever since it’s release. So when I saw the game for a cool $20 (despite it’s critical acclaim, I don’t think it sold well, hence why it was marked down so quickly after it’s release), I didn’t hesitate to pick it up. But I also got it when my system was broken at the time, so I had been dying to finally play the game. And when I did… I was promptly bored to tears. But the thing is this: it very well could be an excellent RPG, but I simply need to face facts: I don’t like RPGs… as much as I want to like them, I don’t. I only give them a chance cuz I almost feel like I should, but no matter which titles I try, it all comes down to the combat, and even the most heralded titles result in a boring, plodding, and confusing experience. I’ve only truly enjoyed one RPG (Command Mission doesn’t count since I haven’t played it enough to properly judge, and my love for Mega Man is definitely helping to hide any flaws, which there definitely were some), and that was Panzer Dragoon Saga… and I guess it’s going to stay that way.

Ico - With all the talk about Wanda and the Colossus, I figured I should revisit the team’s first game. Though it’s been so long, I’ve totally forgotten what I’ve done, where I’ve been, etc. So I think I’ll have to start from scratch. Though that’s not really such a horrible thing.

Gran Turismo 3 - Truth be told, the only reason why I’ve even given that game a spin is because Sony is in town tomorrow to show of part 4, which will mean my first real chance to give it a spin, And since I suck so bad at real car simulators, I figured I’ve get some practice before I totally humiliate myself. Though no one really thinks of it, I recall quite clearly the time when Nintendo was in town to show off F-Zero GX last summer, and even my editor made it a point that I get the chance to give it a spin. And when I finally had my chance, I died literally in 3 seconds.

Katamari Damacy (of course) - I’ve finally gotten the chance to play the domestic version, which means a chance to finally hear what the King of the Cosmos has to say. What a fucking douchebag. Awesome translation job btw.

- Speaking of “it’s gotta be Japanese!” games, Technic Beat is finally out. You may recall me being fairy excited over the news. Well, it was originally slated for summer, but then pushed back with no solid release date given. Later, it was stated that shipping would be on October 11th, which was actually yesterday. But since no press release was given out, the day totally passed everyone by, and most are uncertain if it actually did ship. I guess I’ll have to go hunting again, like I did for Katamari, but I must confess, this is seriously getting old. As much as I know I’m going to enjoy the game, and that good things are worth looking for, the whole running around the city, looking high and low online, is way too much of an investment, time and energy-wise. In this instance, if Technic Beat does prove to be a disaster, it will only be Mastiff (the publisher’s fault) for not promoting the game at all. Granted, most retailers may not order the game, but at least tell them it exists.

- Also, GameOnNY starts in just two days and it would seem nobody really cares. I’ve tried to convince people that despite it’s potential lameness (which only seems to become more and more evident as the show draws nearer) that it’s still worth checking out, if only to let it be known that there is a massive audience of gamers in NYC for something better to come along. But on the GAF, the response to that was, ” Attending might also send a message that they’ve got a captive audience that’s willing to settle for bottom-feeding crap like this.” And I honestly can’t blame such a response.

Hell, even I’m having a difficult hard time getting even a tad bit interested; I guess it doesn’t help that I’m so swamped with work that it truly does not look worth my time. Plus the promise of getting to play the Fight Club video game is practically a deal-breaker all by it self. Though I still intend on going at least one of the days (forget about all four). I won’t bother with behind the scenes crap (vague promises, tons of unanswered questions, etc.), but let’s just say, if it turns out more than just a poker table, folding chairs, and an Xbox playing Halo (1, not 2), I’ll be impressed. Though as always, I like being proven wrong…