07/12/2005

I Want My Gel TV

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

- Last night was another opening at SVA, and another one to feature Marion’s work. So I just hung out with her and John, chatting and drinking wine. Found out that Marion hates Ghosts n’ Goblins… I mean she REALLY hates that game. And I have to admit, I’m not a big fan of it either; my disdain for games that I want to like but can’t due to an insane difficulty isn’t just due to current titles like Devil May Cry 3, and G’n'G has always been way too fucking hard.

- Its Tuesday and you know what that means? New DVDs come out today, and there’s quite a few good ones to snag. First up is the Garbage Pail Kids Movie which many (okay, maybe just Joe and I) have been waiting to hit DVD. I saw it just once when I was a kid and recall it being quite fucking horrible. I’m certain they only showed it once on television… one has to assume that the Movie Channel got so many angry phone-calls and letters that they had no choice but to burn the film.

Then there’s the Bill & Ted’s Most Excellent Collection.

But if there’s only going to be one thing you get, make sure its the DVD of the year; Rubber Johnny finally comes out today.

Anyone who’s familiar with the work of Chris Cunnigham already knows about it, but for those who don’t, all you need to know is that its about a about a malformed mutant who’s confined in the basement, yet manages to rock out. You can find out more info here.

Or if you have the patience, and the bandwidth, you can see the whole film right here. At first I was hesitant about giving away the whole thing, but I’m confident that you’ll want to rush and get the thing on DVD for yourself and all your friends.

I myself will not only be picking the DVD up but checking out the East Coast premiere later tonight at Lincoln Center, which is playing alongside Police Beat.

- Oh, and the PSP is getting even more movies as well, such as You Got Served.

- Yesterday on the GAF, someone pointed to a site that has tons of pic of console mods. Some are quite nice (and some are pretty damn cheesy… keep an eye out for the Kill Bill PS2… neat idea I guess but crappy execution).

And then I started looked around elsewhere and came across this: a GameCube in an AT-AT mod.

- And yesterday I also mentioned the Ikaruga shirt that’s finally happened. Well recently Sega revealed a special shirt to commemorate the release of the new Sonic Gems Collections. Its of Sonic the Hedgehog… drowning. Sorta neat actually.

- I never mentioned this when it first broke, but not too long ago a hacker “discovered” some unused code for a sex minigame in Grand Theft Auto San Andreas. It seems that there was going to be a part of the game where in-between all the drive by shooting, you could take your character to your girlfriend’s house “for some coffee”, which is basically you and your girl having sex in a variety of positions. You don’t have to look very far for patches to lock the portion for the PS2, PC, and Xbox version, and if you want to see pics and even a video, simply go here.

Anyhow, as soon as the parental watchdogs group caught wind of this, they went totally nuts, demanding the game be pulled off of shelves everywhere, stating that the game should be re-classified as “Adults Only” (the game currently has the USRB rating of “Mature”). So, get this, now Rockstar is claiming that the mod is the work of hackers by altering the source code and that they are not responsible for the content whatsoever. Which, of course, is total and complete total bullshit. Yeah, I love how these hackers supposedly did all the coding themselves. And the scripting. And the modeling. And the textures. And the sound effects. And the voice acting.

I love no matter how edgy Rockstar makes themselves out to be, they’re just all corporate pussies in the end.

- Here’s a site that has a pic of almost every Famicom clone ever produced.

- And here’s a Flicker dedicated to classic handheld games.

BTW, not to go off topic, but have I ever mentioned how annoying Flicker is quickly becoming? Its become the latest device for hipsters to flaunt their coolness and egos. Instead of having nothing really interesting to say as with the case with blogs, now they have nothing really interesting to show, and conversely, instead of saying dumb and vapid things, Flicker just encourages them to do it for the sake of documentation and for, you guess it, “ART!”

Case in point: some uber trend-doids who thought it would be humorous to dress up as zombies and give a gang of dorks that like to ply D&D in the park a hard time. Yeah, that “sounds” cool, but honestly, there is nothing scary about a zombie with horn rimmed glasses. Plus like all hipsters, they managed to take a great idea and make it seem totally pretentious and boring.

For those of you who are asking where I get off criticizing others, well you can just forget about it. Once again, yes, I have a blog, but at least I’m able to acknowledge the simple fact that they are often nothing more than devices to boost one’s ego. Sorta like how I’m goofing on complete strangers on the internet…. hey, at least I provide a wealth of video game related as well.

- Back on the topic of games, is this a game? Maybe, maybe not… but its sorta fun, that is if controlling a perpetually falling (and spineless) woman is your idea of fun.

- Want further evidence that Japanese are pure geniuses when it comes to television commercials? All I can say is that I want my Gel TV.

- Also from Japan, I just found out about Densha Otoko, which is about otaku (hardcore Japanese nerd) on his quest to find love. I based upon real life anecdotes on message boards and I heard its pretty awesome.

There’s torrents of the show, which just recently premiered, available right now.

- So the new Harry Potter book comes out this Friday, which was a major point of conversation last night over dinner. Among the things discussed were psycho Potter fans, like the ones that hate the girl who plays Cho Chang in the upcoming film so much that they created a dedicated hate-listing site. as well as how the book comes out on Friday at midnight and how both John and Marion are worried that folks will have read the whole thing that very night be talking about it the very next morning, effectively spoiling it for them (they’ll both be at the San Diego Comic Con this weekend).

Anyway, while on my way to lunch, I passed by a UPS truck unloading stuff for the Barnes & Noble that’s around the corner from where I work and I noticed that they were in fact boxes with the new Harry Potter book. They were all white and completely covered by the HP logo in green with “Don’t not open this box until 7/16/05.”on the top. And I was totally tempted to run off with one of them… I even circled the building twice to see if the coast was clear… but there were just too many UPS goons hanging about. I guess I could have paid them off with $50 or something, but I wouldn’t be surprised if each box (or perhaps each copy of the book) has some microchip programmed to explode if exposed before the appropriate date. I actually just wanted to get ahold of copies for those who are worried about the same headache that John and Marion spoke off (and give them something to read on the plane)… sorry folks.

Also, when you get into it, I’m just not into petty theft, and I sure as hell did not want to be the first person to be caught stealing a box of new Harry Potter books.

- And finally, Flipnic finally comes out in the US tomorrow. Its gonna be the next “almost impossible to find niche title cuz almost no game stores, especially those in NYC, will bother to carry, leading me to run from one shop to another, get more and more frustrated as the day goes on” game for me. Can’t wait!

  • Job

    don’t worry too much about flipnic…
    there will be quite the abundance.

    i remember praying just to try it for the longest time.. then capcom had it at their booth at E3… not bad. i even went so far as to ask the PR guys how big of a print run it would have… they said it was gonna be a budget title at $19.99 and they were going to be certain to get plenty out to every store on the first run.

    not only that… Capcom’s even been sending TONS of demo discs around the last month.. I found one in a big stack at circuit city. i find it very strange that they’d spend that much to push out standalone (DVD ROM based!) demos for a budget title… but they did. stop by circuit city if you want one for your final build of the game. i got mine at the 86th street store… at the VG register.

    you’ll have no trouble.

  • http://www.demolicious.org PAINPAINPAIN

    Thanks for the link to the Rubber Johnny flick – I kind of liked it, though for the time it’s took to come out, I was expecting more than 6 minutes. Still, Chris Cunningham is one of those genius-types who can’t be rushed. Unless he’s been really busy…

    The Rockstar thing with GTA San Andreas is true – when you see the video, you’ll know that it’s the same animation team/textures/etc. who have produced the supposedly-modded content. Plus the mod’s only about 1Mb in size, which kind of puts a whole dampener on Rockstar’s argument. At the end of the day the master disc should of had the unseen stuff took out of it anyway.

  • http://www.jasonsawtelle.com Jason

    Your repetetive claims that consumer goods cannot be found when only you seek them is thin cheese my friend. I don’t know where the cheese analogy fits, really. Amazon has it at $19.99 — or since we know you can’t receive packages at work, perhaps a BestBuy order/pickup will work for you:
    http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?id=cat12097&type=page&categoryId=cat10005

  • https://www.fort90.com Matt

    Jesus… the one time I decided to go cautious in regards to getting a niche game (I ended up just saying “fuck it” and pre-order the game), it supposedly readily available everywhere. The last time I paid for a game before it came out was Gradius V, so hopefully I’ll get in the next two weeks or so… and that time it didn’t even come with the bonus DVD, which was the whole fucking point of pre-ordering it in the first place, though it wasn’t entirely GameStop’s fault.

Previous post:

Next post: