Dealing With Fucking Annoying Upstairs Neighbors

[FortNinety]

This is something that's totally up Mike's alley, but since he's super busy, gonna ask it anyway...

It's a problem that we've all had to deal with in the city, at one point or another: complete fuckwads for neighbors. Currently Katie and I have a undetermined numbers of idiots that are directly above us. All they do is play rap music really loud, rap along to said rap music even louder, playing FPS also deafeningly loud (I haven't played Modern Warfare 2, but I sure as hell know what it sounds like), and best of all... the constant fucking stomping of the floor for no discernible reasons, all day and all night long. Guess they're unemployed fucks like me, cuz this shit goes on 10 in the morning and 4 in the morning. It never used to be consistent, but now it's getting worse.

So what are my options? I can go upstairs and try speaking with them, but I can just imagine that going bad, real bad. Though what else? Not saying that I would ever exercise them, but I'm curious if there are any special renter's rights or laws and the such. I only ask because I recall something along the lines of, if you have problems with the neighbors, one should call 311. Which seems really passive aggressive, but I'm still curious.

[loopback]

honestly, the first thing you should do (because anyone you call or report this to is going to ask if you did) is start by going upstairs and asking them to chill the fuck out.

Ideally do it when they aren't being loud, and do it as a, "hey, not trying to be a dick, but you guys get really loud sometimes at really weird hours and it would be really great if you could keep it down."

If you go stomping up while they're being loud and do a door-pounding "TURN IT DOWN YOU DICKHEADS" you're going to have things end badly, of course.

Then after that, presumably they will either say, "oh shit nobody told us we were being that loud, we will try to rein it in", or they'll be huge tools and shrug and say whatever. 

At which point you simply go to the landlord and say "these people are unacceptably loud. do something."

And after that, presumably you can simply start calling the non-emergency police line and file noise complaint after noise complaint. Eventually the police will show up, tell them to turn it down, and with luck they'll freak out at The Man trying to Run Their Lives, and wind up in jail for resisting.

This is all west coast assumptive, of course.

[Chairman Meow]

Yeah, talk to them first.  We got a $100 noise complaint ticket last Saturday afternoon from an anonymous complaint.  It was a total dick cop and it happened in the suburbs, but it's the same principal. 

Whatever compliance we would have had with the neighbor is just gone now.  If they can't come to my door or handle 30 - 40ish minutes of drum and bass playing, well they're going to start hearing it a lot more from now on.

[FortNinety]

That's all good advice guys, thanks. Yeah, asking them politely when they aren't as loud, and when I'm not as annoyed, since I seem to have the worst poker face in the world, is perhaps the best bet.

And yeah, if someone did the anonymous call on me, I'd probably want to test whatever boundary.

Katie has a theory that it might be kids who are doing all the jumping around, which might be the case, but that would mean that they're heavy fucking kids. Also, the one and only time I tried to reason with noisy neighbors, it was because of their home schooled spoiled fuck whose basically let him do whatever the hell he wanted because "NO ONE is gonna enforce boundaries on my child's life, especially at home!"

Appealing to the landlord did little good in this case because they were his in-laws.

[Fitz]

Just because I know your track record, is there any chance that Katie could do the talking?

[pilot]

HA

I'm kind of prepared to just live with it, though. I know it's more irritating for you, Matt, because you're home most of the day, but from past experience, I can put up with a lot to avoid neighbor tension.

The day our ceiling starts to crack though, I'll be up there with cupcakes that spell out "SHUT THE FUCK UP" on the icing.

[EarlMadness]

I'm in dorm so their like training pants apartments but all the more interesting for the lack of rules.  This last weekend especially where we had 3 fire alarms go off within ten minutes of each other, which got topped off by being pulled down to the office because some dumb ass cop thought he talked to someone from my room about sleeping through the first fire alarm and since I was the first to arrive back at the room, they assumed it was me. 
I spent twenty minutes waiting for the cop to show up just for him to not remember who he talked to.  After that they let me go and the other two went off.  After the third one I said Fuck it, and just went to the newsroom and watched the editors do layouts with the new people.

That's excluding all the times my room mates decide to stay up till 3am laughing loudly or we have someone yelling and slamming doors over a breakup/dick friend/miscellaneous happening.

[Fitz]

Having people stand around the fire alarm with baseball bats works.

Mind you, I was a dick to deal with in dorms. Insomnia plus a short fuse for stupid made for some interesting encounters.

[EarlMadness]

Having people stand around the fire alarm with baseball bats works.

Mind you, I was a dick to deal with in dorms. Insomnia plus a short fuse for stupid made for some interesting encounters.

Smoke detectors always set it off automatically.  Or washing machines. or fire drills.  or retards.

Mainly retards.

[Fitz]

Mainly retards.

That was my experience with Stony Brook at least.