FORT90 forum

Tourists, especially if they're a bit on the old side and/or irregularly shaped + a movie train = what use to be be comedy gold, but just gets on my nerves

Twice this week alone, saw two fat women who must be from Iowa, or around such parts, get on a train and completely crumble like a house of cards due to the unexpected movement of the train (lol I know). Each time some poor girl just trying to read a book got flattened by a pancake. Not sure why I didn't find the flailing of their arms humorous. The looks on the faces of the aforementioned girls was pretty classic though, that of total disgust.

And no, I didn't help them up because A) I was too far way and B) I get involved in other people's business way too much, or so I've been told.

Fucking subway costs $4.50 to go anywhere now because I don't have a monthly. Actually I do have a monthly, but it doesn't work because of the fare increase. Anyone know how I deal with that? My first step would be to go talk to a booth attendant, but I don't know that that will work out very well.

the monthlies will stop working on sunday?

and as always, when the fare goes up. the service goes down. fuck the MTA.

Seriously.

Can't find the link anywhere, but there was some article in the Times I think, about how the MTA was either given some money by the state or tapped into funds that were specifically set aside to alleviate the current crisis, and it went to something completely different, i.e. another retarded project that's only meant to give it's primary powerholders extra cash in ten years time.

Also, had no idea about the monthlies becoming DOA. What the fuck.

And, sup Glomag.

I have no idea how I adapted to the subway system down in LA, but somehow as a tourist I did.

Then again, I'm not sure of the differences between the Metro and NYC's subway system.

just wanted to pop in and say that i really can't fucking stand all the construction they do on the L train ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

i understand that the L train contains the stop where all the precious flowers of NYC come to live, but is this much maintenance needed?  it would just be nice to know that after 11 pm, i don't have to decide whether or not i want to walk out of my way to catch the JMZ or deal with the hell that is trying to get on an MTA shuttle bus.

that isn't even so bad, when the buses all arrive at the same time.  but 9/10 times, one bus appears randomly every 10-15 minutes.  just enough time for the crowd to become huge again and it becomes a giant shoving much to get crushed inside of a bus while standing.

I don't know what was going on with my monthly before but now it works.

Even stranger: my card with money on it somehow has $0.65 left on it. How the hell did I lose $0.10/ gain $0.15?

I know the weather was fantastic today in the city, but the sight of I'd say 8 or 9 MTA employees, just lounging in the park and doing nothing but shoot the shit, really pissed me off. I guess at the very least, it's a change of pace of seeing them just sit around doing nothing in a station (other than hog bench seats, nevermind people who could actually use them, like the elderly).

This is fairly... interesting I suppose, in concept alone:

http://www.originalsoundversion.com/?p=3596

Total novelty album. I mean, it's sort of nice if you are into meditation, but everything has been pitch-shifted into oblivion so you don't hear the subway in the music.

it's not novelty music per se, it's just not great ambient music. if i wanted something that kinda 90s esque feel, i'd go with rapoon or biosphere/higher intelligence agency splits. (especially birmingham frequencies)

the page for that review is pretty bad, but on the other hand they're not writing in particular for a ambient/electronic music audience. otherwise there'd be some more background on obvious "wow that's odd" sampling moments - matmos's early work and especially aube.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aube_%28musician%29

Hey laaaaadiiiiieeeees:

If you can't walk down the stairs in your fucking heels throw them in a totebag and get some flats to trounce around in for a few unfashionable minutes. This goes double if you are on the larger side and can't hold yourself up when standing on a packed train.

http://www.dearmta.info/

For whatever reason, virtually everyone person I talk to these days at a part of whatever social engagement, EVERYONE has a F train horror story. Including my own, from last weekend!

Last Saturday I was rushing to meet a friend (you guys know Mooney, right?) at a very specific time, to catch a bus to Philly. So for me, it was A train to D train to F train. I was making okay time, basically going about to hit my destination right in the nick of time, when all of a sudden, my F train upon pulling into the West 4th Street station, just three away from my destination, came to one of those complete stops... you know, where you hear the engine go totally dead. The LCD which had been saying "6th Ave Local" had turned off and then came back with "LAST STOP". An announcement was made, but because I had my iPod on, I missed it, but it didn't matter since no one could make heads or tails of what was said (you know, all those fucking speakers inside the trains are messed up).

Myself and a bunch of people began pouring out, totally confused. There were service notices were all over the station, but most were totally tattered (despite the fact that they were current), though none of them was applicable anyhow. I immediately began to panic cuz I had no idea how I was going to get where I was going, which was all the way on the east side, and was afraid that my entire weekend was ruined. A conductor was talking to a bunch of people, and as I approached, I heard her snidely state to a person "you want me to call the cops on you?" I then simply asked: "Excuse me, but I'm trying to get to the East Broadway stop."

Her response? "You shouldn't have gotten off this train." And as she said this, the doors closed. When I responded with "But the sign in the train.." She cut me off with "Pay better attention next time." At that point, the train began moving, her with it, and out of nowhere I simply screamed "YOU FUCKING BITCH!" Everyone thought I was nuts. But man, fucking MTA people get me more riled up than anyone else.

Oh, next train arrived 20 minutes later and I missed my bus. Got the next one, which led to a shitty ride which could have been avoided.

Also, I heard that some MTA employee won the lottery earlier this week? I also hear that only dumb-shits play the poor people's stock market...

Karma fail.

Apparently the E train was flooded the other night when it was raining and both my roommates had 90 minute commutes instead of their usual 30 minute commutes. I guess it just stopped in between two stops and hung out for a while.

Considering my rather bleak employment and financial situation, the last thing I need is to blow money on a cab ride, but after being stuck in the hell that is the G and 7 train combo for close to an hour and a half, once I rolled into the Times Square and realized that I'd have to take a shuttle bus two stops away from my end destination, plus would have to wait at least another 30 minutes for that next train, I said fuck it. The heat also finally got to me.

Here's what I want to know about the 7 train; there's a 7 local and a 7 express. Why fuck don't they, I dunno, call one of the trains a different number or letter, like everything else?

Today was also one of the days in which I'm actually shocked that I haven't strangled an MTA employee yet, considering my aforementioned circumstances. Wouldn't mind the free rent and martyrdom in my mind for a few moments of sweet release.

Yeah, it's usually best to just go for the E train because the 7 is harder to transfer to, and I don't know that it can't be trusted late at night.

I normally go for the E, but problem was, nothing on that line.... the E, R, or whatever else is in that station... was going to Manhattan.

Since I knew beforehand that I had to go outside to catch the 7, I asked the booth guy where it was, and the guy refused to stop reading his paper and acknowledge me. And yes, I was asking nicely. That's when I officially began to get pissed off.

Ugggh. Yeah, sorry you had such a rough trip back, but it was nice to have you out for the movie and to give a second opinion on Rage of the Dragons.

It just blows, once again, how every chance to hang with friends in Brooklyn has to be second-guessed due to bullshit relating to the subways. I hate to be a hermit, but the MTA is turning me into one.

Just saw this advertised on the local news...

http://www.mikebloomberg.com/community/group_details.cfm?groupid=900800

... His 33 point plan sounds promising, but the details when it comes to how all of this will actually happen is pretty sparse.

Not related to the subways, but since they are run by the MTA...

http://www.cultofmac.com/blogger-runs-into-trouble-with-new-york-transit-authorities-over-iphone-app/14864

... So apparently, train schedules are copy-written material?

Once again, thank God I don't have to deal with the L train on a daily basis...

http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/08/22/subway-striptease-exhibitionism-mania/

I would not complain if I ran into that.

Oh, and this one is for Liz:

I keep forgetting to mention how last week, on a crowded rush hour 1, there was this pregnant woman and her man, could have been a husband or bf, maybe even just a guy friend really, both standing, and a MTA employee sitting down, reading his paper, a male.

The first dude tried giving the MTA employee dirty looks, as if to say "come on jackass, there's a pregnant woman here", but since that clearly wasn't working, he just flat out said "hey, there's someone who could really use a seat". The MTA simply glanced real quick and responded with "I'm pregnant too."

The entire train immediately became enraged, with plenty of "oh my God"s, but the fucker didn't give too shits.

That's pretty priceless, but i'm not surprised at all. People are damned selfish when it comes to giving up seats. A twenty year old girl literally ran under my arm to get to a seat I was right in front of on the N train. While i've had a few people give up seats for me--with one woman even insisting that I sit down even though I told her I was getting off in two stops--I was actually yelled at by a dude for not giving up my seat for a more visibly pregnant woman (I was five months along at the time). When my sister who was with me told him that I was pregnant as well his response was, "What is she a month along-- I thought she just looked fat."

Actually, probably the best story yet regarding insensitive peoples comments and pregnancy happened about a week ago at a TD bank in Astoria, so that would make me 28 weeks and in my seventh month. To be honest, I've been lucky and I don't look extremely pregnant even now but I do have a tummy and really it doesn't look anything like a beer gut.

Anyway, I was on a very long line in the bank on a Friday during lunch hour; I was about number 5 of about 13 people. Of course, there was only one teller on duty. A very skinny, very pregnant lady comes in and joins the back of the line. The bank manager, a petite woman, immediately goes over to her and escorts her to the front of the line. The pregnant lady does not appear to speak much English and seems very happy at the special treatment. The other bank customers are less than thrilled and there is much mumbling among the ranks. An older Greek man who was standing behind me points at me and calls out to the manager saying, "Hey, there's another pregnant lady here, doesn't she get special treatment?" The bank manager gives me one of those double up and down glances and says, "Is she pregnant? I thought she was just fat. It's so hard to tell these days." The guy then turns to me and I say yes, I'm pregnant and in my seventh month. The manager then rather reluctantly tells me I can go to the front of the line as well. But pissed at this whole charade I tell her no thank you as I don't need special treatment. She turned red and walked away. it was really pretty funny, although i was pissed at the time.

along those lines:

http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/28/complaint-box-subway-squatters/

So, who else got caught up in this weekend's nonsense earlier today? I almost walked home from Union Square this afternoon (I live on 181 St for those who don't know, so that's like over 160 blocks), things were so bad. But I'm still kinda sick and threw in the towel at Columbus Circle. Thankfully a train arrived relatively soon.

Or did everyone heed all the news warnings and stay in today? I was just on XBL and quite a few of you folks are at home, watching Netflix I see.

It's really hard to properly explain to those who don't live in NYC how hopelessly frustrating the trains have become. And sitting down and trying to figure out why things are the way they are... which I suppose is almost invariable, since there's a lot of time to think while waiting for that next train... leads to even more anger in the end.

... Like how, if train X is being re-routed, due to track work, why is train Y running on that same set of tracks? Shit like that. Been living here for 13 years and I still haven't been able to figure it out.

So what happened anyways? Someone killed himself or something?

The MTA decided to do major track work on every single line this weekend, with the sole exception being the M line. EVERYTHING is fucked up, even more so than usual.

As a result, Katie is now stuck in Brooklyn, sleeping on a friend's couch. Plans to go to Jersey tomorrow for Japanese food shopping with a friend of hers has effectively been canceled, which really pisses me off since I've been out of beef bowl material for some time now.

it'd been in the new for a few days that this was going to be a total clusterfuck because of construction. almost every line was affected.

Yeah, yesterday was a mess for me, travel-wise. I had already made some big plans with friends before I had heard about the train apocalypse this weekend so there wasn't any getting around it. My trip from Washington Heights to Park Slope took 2 hours, and consisted of taking the 1 downtown instead of the A (construction between 168 and 181 usually means unreliable shuttle buses/waiting forever at the 168 station to finally get a train). The 1 wasn't exactly a better option as there was a ton of construction and a miserable crawl between 72nd to 42nd. I transferred to the N because it was supposed to replace the R, and the overhead sign on the N train was incorrect about every stop it was making so I wasn't sure if I was doing it right. The N was also really dragging. Trying to get home last night around midnight from Kensington (a few blocks away from the Fort Hamilton Parkway stop on the F), I began walking to where the shuttle bus was supposed to be and on the way noticed that the signs turning people away from the F stop were handwritten on looseleaf in what appeared to be Crayola washable marker. At that point I lost all faith in the MTA and decided to say fuck it and try again in the morning.

The lamest thing had to be this morning taking shuttle buses on both ends of my trip. It's weird, I guess on paper it shouldn't be that much of a drag, but something about that interruption of routine can be so frustrating, especially when you don't know if it will be a 10-30 minute diversion. But.. at least no one was acting like a fuckhead on any of the trains. At least there was that.

Last night these two guys next to me were making out hardcore for most of my trip home. Thing is, I'm pretty sure they weren't gay, just REALLY drunk. I believe they were is super high spirits because of the Yankees winning their game. Also, they were very Italian.

The actual headache began when a bunch of MTA track workers got on board. I love how they have this need to yell at each other despite being right next to each other. I know I'm loud when talking, but come on. I would attribute it to them going deaf due to all loud noises that comes with the job, but who am I kidding? They don't do shit, hence there's no real exposure.

Slain for his subway seat: Exterminator stabs D train straphanger to death after seat scuffle

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2009/11/21/2009-11-21_slain_for_his_subway_seat_stranger_stabs_d_train_straphanger_to_death_over_.html#ixzz0XoRtWBKG

Runaway Spent 11 Days in the Subways

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/24/nyregion/24runaway.html?adxnnl=1&partner=rss&emc=rss&adxnnlx=1259075129-kDuSnWSxUmD2+zWX9vRPDQ

There was just a news report on ch. 11 on what to do with Metrocards that have odd amounts of money on them. Apparently, some folks just throw them away instead of doing the math to get them back up $2.25. Which is, needless to say, mindblowing.

Then again, lol channel 11 news!

Once again, gotta love the fucking people that comment on such things...

http://gothamist.com/2009/12/27/video_bloody_fight_on_the_6_train.php

... I love the assertion that the woman deserved to get a bloody nose. Yup.

EDIT: I now hear the MTA is somewhat claiming the video is fake? Holy fucking shit...

saw some awesomeness this morning.

it's crowded as all hell at 59th street/lex, as it always is, and i was slowly shuffling behind some folk headed to lord knows where. some gino near the head of the pack decides to turn around halfway through his trip past the stairs at the far southern end of the platform (i.e. where it's most narrow) and shoves his way through three or four women before bouncing into this guy a few folk ahead of me who just straight up pass blocked him into the stairs.

that by itself would be awesome, but homeslice wasn't paying attention and wearing earbuds blasting the latest guido control waves, so he says out of habit "hey, watch it nigga!"

then he looks up. the guy who pass blocked him is black.

i worked my way around that and got up the stairs. dude was still shouting at eyebrow threads when i got to the second set of stairs to the uptown six.

i never got the memo that the best place to check your belongings and three pieces of luggage for tic tacs is at the top of the stairs leading to the subway. apparently it was a very convincing memo.

I've only spent a total of 6 or so days in New York.  This is all making me miss it.

"Like I need this guy lookin' at me."

So there's this Twitter feed called FakeMTA, which gave out fake advisories and it used to be hilarious. But then something happened around the new year, and it stopped being funny.

And then it made this...

http://www.twitvid.com/0D628

At about a minute and a half in I looked at the timeline to see that it went on for another four minutes. Pretty funny stuff, but I got the gist after a minute.

It's actually only two minutes long. I guess FakeMTA doesn't know how to use iMovie properly or something.

today on the n train it was crowded and people were annoyed. as per the often, if not the usual.

woman gets on with a roller luggage and parks herself in front of the door (because that's the best place to stop). at queensboro people are trying to get off and she ignores them to focus on her phone.

a few angry excuse mes later some dude just up and punts her bag out of the train.

kinda awesome.

Kinda? I would call that absolutely. Fucking people with their roller luggage on the train are the worst.

i officially call bullshit on short women on the n train. to hell with you ladies.

Tripping over them?

no, being shoved by them. it's annoying.

http://www.violationreport.com/

guys, this isn't public shaming in any real sense. it's passive aggressive twaddleknockery.

What the...

http://www.violationreport.com/violations/index.php?entry=39&id=77

Also, a LOT of these are from folks on the L train, which should tell you something.

I would like to register a complaint against an unusable interface.

all kidding aside, the door standers and the tiny fat women are about 97% of all subway problems.

I honestly though I was the angriest, most petty person on the planet till I went through all the complaints. Most of which are centered on a person's physical attributes more than anything else (like the complaint about the one dude's hairline... okay).

There's quite a few on people who lean on the pole, and okay, that is obnoxious when its a crowded train and 5 people are need to use it to hold on, but each picture had a sparsely packed train.

And there's one about a door stander. So instead of saying something, the person whips out a fucking cameraphone and takes a picture? Christ, what fucking pussies.

And again, fucking Willamsburg.

All the photos I looked through were also taken on trains that didn't look very crowded. If there's lots of room on the train, why get so worked up about people stretching their legs out or leaning against a pole? Maybe these people have never experienced an 8 a.m. A train where you wouldn't even have the elbow room to fish in your pocket for your precious iPod to snap a photo of people being dicks (also, everyone on the train is a dick).

Ok so I had my annual pilgrimage to NYC, and finally got to experience the awesomeness of subway construction.

"oh yeah, this train? you can't get on it going into manhattan. we have all the stops going that way roped off. You need to go all the way to Coney Island and transfer to another train to get into Manhattan."

I mean, swell, I got to see more of Brooklyn that I hadn't seen before, but that was pretty awesome.  Best part was the MTA dude at the station saying, "just go down to the next stop and cross over."  Which was a LYING LIE THAT LIARS TELL. And thus, a delightful New York Moment.

Also I learned that when a person from Brooklyn says, "Don't worry about it", that translates into conventional english as, "I want to cut your throat, but since I'm not going to talk to you or see you ever again, I won't do it."

Wait, you had to go to Coney Island before heading into Manhattan? WTF... where in Brooklyn were you coming from? Not that it really matters to be honest.

Never trust an MTA worker. I've never met a bunch more prone to lies and deceit. Usually if you ask three or four you can piece together what is actually going on.

I think that had we been told "oh yeah you can't get there from here" we would've simply gone to another train.  It all started at the Ft. Hamilton stop for the N train.  Luckily I had a Sherpa with me.

they like keeping secrets.

Ft. Hamilton? Fuck....

And what Dave says. Last week I had about dozen or so incidents and interactions with various MTA employees, all of which is a blur and isn't perhaps anything that no one hasn't heard already (though one can be found in my latest blog post, for those who gotta know), and they all came to the same conclusion, which to be honest, is something most have figured out a very long time ago.

I know the local news is shit, but there's apparently some recently released study that goes down the list of the highest paying jobs in the MTA (outside of the boardroom I gather). Near the top of the list is a train conductor for the LIRR, whose base pay is like a hundred grand, before bonuses and shit, which tops at close to $250,000. The cherry on the shit sundae was how the story immediately followed yet another "they city if gonna fire even more teachers this fall" story.

So due to a court ruling and pressure from the workers union, the MTA must rehire operators/reopen token booths that had been shut down! Too bad those folks don't do jack shit in the first place.

You know what I love? Being stuck on a platform for 10 minutes and realizing there's an announcement, but coming elsewhere on the train. So you set onto the platform, to hopefully get a better listen, and in like 0.3 seconds, the door closes immediately behind you and speeds off. LOVE IT.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5gCeWEGiQI

Have I ever mentioned one of my secret fantasies? That being to be somewhere in which folks are trying to do some wacky improv sketch thing in the public, like above, and to do something that tests their ability to actually improv or to simply flat out ruin the scene?

But seriously, the above isn't even remotely close to being funny.

I tend to mark the success or failure of bits like that more on the response of the people there for it than for the after-event video.  Still this was clearly being done for distribution so that alone doesn't count.

That Darth Vader sucked.

I would love to see them do that same stunt on a train that's not filled with dainty white yuppies/tourists. More like around Harlem, around folks who couldn't give a shit about Star Wars.

You underestimate the Nerds in the Hood factor my good man. The biggest Star Wars nerd I've known come from places like Harlem. Biggest comic and anime nuts too come to think of it. They just don't look like the folks you likely interact with on such topics.

Oh, trust me, I'm well aware of the nerdy quotient in those parts. Remember, I used to work for Nick Mag, and a good deal of our sales came from folks living on 125th Street alone, at least those that enjoy Naruto!

I kid of course, but my original points stand; you're not going to find an area in which sticking out and acting like a goofball will get you called and ridiculed more so than Harlem. They certainly have no issues yelling amongst themselves, that's for sure.

In other news...

(http://pics.fort90.com/forum/nakedguyasleeponthelmaybe.jpg)