06/09/2010

Yes, That’s A Black Velvet Painting Of Tweetie Bird, Looking Kinda Sexy.

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

In this post:
1. So my body is leaking yellow puss. Again.
2. So I went to a blood letting. In Brooklyn.
3. Seriously; zines are like the coolest things ever. As are the folks who make them!
4. Buying knickknacks at Red Bank/speaking at a media fest in DUMBO, all in a day’s work.
5. The dueling demigod auteur & the young man’s inner psyche, in the flesh.
6. The next phase of Attract Mode is finally beginning!
7. Asian films in NYC are once again a go.
8. Sorry, not too impressed by Red Dead Redemption.
9. Another wacky assortment of must see video game notes & nonsense across the web, including ants.
10. And I’m totally blowing off Hideo Kojima this weekend.

Well, how is everyone? Good I hope. As for myself, been better! For those who haven’t heard via Twitter (that’s not a lame attempt at getting those who don’t follow to do so, btw, though I do kinda post awesome videos all the time, fyi), I’ve been dealt a double whammy: sun poisoning and a staph infection.

The first ailment was the result of my face melting off, due to a particular nasty sunburn many years back, the details of which will be told in comic book fashion via an upcoming installment of UNLUCKY (whenever Dave Roman gets around to illustrating it to be precise). Sun poisoning as it turns out is one of those things that sticks with you for the rest of your life, in the sense that one becomes super sensitive to the summer sun from that point forward, though it’s never full-on returned, till now of course. As for the infection, no idea what caused it, and I’ll spare the gory details, other than to say that I’ve been oozing a nasty yellow liquid in various spots of my body over the past week (thankfully, none of the naughty ones) and my life has been exceptionally uncomfortable in return late.

Making things worse is how treatment of one symptom has done nothing but aggravate the other. Case in point, the medication used to deal with the infection has made me even more sensitive to the sun, which only intensifies the poisoning. It’s all a big mess, literally. So I’ve been trying my best to stay out of the sun as much as possible, though that plan hasn’t exactly worked due to my census gig, which requires me to pound the boiling hot pavement. And the finer points I am once again not allowed to discuss, though I will hopefully not get fired for stating that it’s getting rather rough, as the majority folks encountered are not friendly types who simply forgot to send theirs in but folks who refused to, in order to make a point, whatever that might be.

Again, stating my precise opinion on the matter might be grounds for dismissal, though I can’t help but state that there are far more effective (as well as less wimpy) means of voicing one’s disapproval of the federal government and “sticking it to the man” than not filling out a simple questionnaire and berating some poor census schlep that knocks on your door and is only trying to his job. That’s like someone who tells me afterwards how awesome they are for yelling at a Gamestop employee for asking if he wanted to pre-order Madden 2011. Whatever dude.

Anyhow, I’ve been forced to hole myself up for the past couple of days, which as far as last weekend was concerned was the absolutely worst, due to the half dozen or so Babycastles events that went down, all of which sounded absolutely fabulous. In particular, GAMES THAT WILL MAKE YOU CRY and GENERAL TSO’S CHAINSAW II. Yet there’s still plenty of stuff that went down and to talk about, mostly before I finally saw a doctor and was formally diagnosed. Such as…

The Ritual

So exactly two weeks ago today, I took part in a ritual. A scarification ritual to be exact. The center of the ceremony was an old co-worker of mine from SVA, one who holds the distinction of being the only other person other than myself to have left on such bad terms with the BFA Computer Arts program to be literally banned from premises. Anyhow, when I heard he was scarring himself as a rite of passage, and that I was one of the chosen few to be invited, I was naturally felt quite honored and excited…

It all went down in Bushwick, at Party Expo. Given the location, the name of the place, and the blurry cell phone pic that accompanied the rather clandestine instructions (“Wear earth tones or black. Don’t wear anything you’d be upset about getting dirty. There’s going to be black-light, so if you’re going to wear any white, make it count.”), I thought it was a knock off Party City that one finds in the ghetto, and imagined myself and others in such a business, that has been broken into after hours. Turns out, it’s a club that’s supposed to look like a Party City that’s been broken into after hours. The decor can be best described as what Silent Barn, might look like if it was hit by a bomb.

Upon arriving, I was surprised to see a girl at a makeshift counter, and told her I was there for the ritual as instructed. Was directed to some hidden stairs and arrived on the second floor. The ceiling was super high, and folks were spray-painting graffiti all across the very tall walls. The whole scene was also being video taped. Because air circulation was nonexistent, the scene immediately made one’s head spin. Which made trying to figure out what the hell was going on extra daunting…

Due to the scene laid out in front of me, as well as my challenge to figure out what I was supposed to do, along with the evening’s build-up, made me feel like I was in a hipster version of The Order from Cremaster 3. Eventually I decided to make my way up the next flight of stairs, where folks were huddled in one corner of the room (which again was barren and decayed, much like the rest of the building). Much of the floor was dark, except for a few floodlights in one corner, which is where everyone was at, also due to the garbage bag filled with PBR and ice…

… Looking up to the fourth floor I could only make out palm tress amid the darkness. Chad was busy getting ready, so we were instructed to wait for the right moment. In the hours that followed, I was reunited with a bunch of other folks from my days as a SVA employee; thankfully Chad was friends with all the cool people, so the reunion was lots of fun. But as the clock ticked towards midnight (the thing was supposed to happen at 10pm sharp), we all wondered what the hell was going on. People also began to That’s when Chad’s brother showed up with feathers for us to wear. Oh, and guys began to take their shirts off as well, since it was so damn hot up there…

Eventually it was showtime. Sorry, no pictures allowed (though everything was filmed). In the center of the room was Chad, wearing nothing but a slab of fur as a loincloth, and covered with day-glo war paint, highlighted by the dark-light. His brother encouraged the crowd to step up to his bro and be anointed in a similar fashion, while someone performed a low rumble beat on the drums. I was the last one to be painted, and I believe I looked like a nerdy/raver Raggedy Andy. Next Chad took a stone and began smashing another rock, to form a blade, the one he would cut himself with. It was at that moment that many of us when “HOLY SHIT, THINGS JUST GOT REAL” in our minds. Well, at least mine. But before going forward, Chad then pulled out a bottle of whiskey, took a swig, and then began offering it to those in the crowd, all while the drummer kept beating. And I gotta say, it was the best damn whisky I’ve ever had in my life. So much so that I desperately wanted another taste, but it was neither the time nor place.

Once the liquor was put away, it was at long last the moment of truth. After one tiny last bit of trepidation that transformed into resolve, Chad began to cut into his own flesh with his makeshift edge (which he doused with alcohol immediately beforehand, in case anyone was wondering). Unfortunately, it wasn’t super sharp, so he had to dig in deep, and multiple times. Was somewhat painful to watch, and believe it or not, it was a relief when blood was finally drawn. Afterwards, Chad began howling like a wolf, and the audience began to follow suit. Then out of the shadows came Chad’s girlfriend, and they began to make out. Hand in hand, they eventually made their way to the fire escape, and when I’m assuming that when they closed the door behind them, it was so they could have some privacy as they engaged in coitus. But doing so left us in the dark, but figuratively and literally, so while we pondered what was next, some folks began to start howling again, with the drummer trying to play along with some improvised, tribal beat. Which was fun for about five minutes, but eventually everyone grew tired of waiting for Chad to return and simply went downstairs.

I would later discover that Chad and his gf had broken up a few months prior, hence why her sudden appearance and their public display of affection had taken many aback (whereas I was totally oblivious). Anyhow, Chad’s brother thanked us all for being present and taking part in the ritual, and also passed word that Chad was cleaning himself up and would meet anyone that’s interested at bar in about an hour, but since it was close to two at this point, I had to call it a night. So in the end, it was what it was; hipster bullshit, but hey, not all hipsters are necessarily assholes, and it was a fun experience nonetheless. Though my favorite part would be hearing Kunal that Chad and company had asked to do his thing at Silent Barn, and were politely declined. They hold all sorts of crazy things at that place, but I guess ritualistic bloodletting is one of their few no-no?s.

The Zine-sters Club

The following Friday night (the one before this last one) was Dave & Raina‘s birthday gathering at their place in Queens. Here’s Dave examining the contents of the freshly opened pi?ata…

… Which not only contained grade A chocolate (stuff from Hersey’s and not the generic brands that you often find in such things) but finger puppets!

… That look of pain was genuine btw, it’s teeth were razor sharp. Fucking made in China bullshit. And poor Colleen of course. Dave also pulled out Samba Di Amigo, for the Dreamcast of course. Here’s the birthday boy playing with Matthew Loux

… Such a shame the Wii version bombed, but without the ultra satisfying sounds of the maracas, the re-release was doomed to failure. Oh, and here’s Katie with Travis, who is loving the hell out of the wonder that is corn chips…

The evening also provided Dave the chance to finally pass along my copy of exp. issue zero that Mathew passed along at TCAF!

… As expected, it’s pretty damn awesome. Once again, Kumar covers a number of different games, and writes about each one of them in an entirely unique fashion from one another. Not sure if it’s intentional or not, but exp. is quite the slap in the face of the status quo, in which most publications are written by a small army of writers, which due to their own set of rules and regulations, often feels like it’s written by just one person. The subject matter is often addressed in a playful manner (both the Batman Arkham Asylum and Deadly Premonition articles immediately come to mind), but not in an annoying, “oh God, the author is trying WAY too hard to be clever here” way that is bane of most New Games Journalism. Does anyone even use that term anymore? Sorry for bringing it up. At any rate, my fave piece would have to be the Dark Void Zero review that’s done old school EGM Review Crew style, with Kumar taking on four “distinct” personalities, including Sushi-exp! Can’t wait for issue number three, which will be in fact issue number one.

Speaking of zines, guess what finally showed up in the mail?

… Exchanged all three editions of the FORT90ZINE for Electric Ant #1 and #2 plus Prison For Bitches, the which more or less took TCAF by storm (believe the hype, it’s more or less the greatest thing ever). And on a totally coincidental note, that following Saturday I got the chance to finally meet and hang with the man behind it all, Ryan Sands, who was in town for a book fair and to see some old pals. Thankfully he accepted my invitation for lunch, in which we talked shop plus exchanged a little gossip (turns out that we both know plenty of the same people) over pad thai and coffee afterwards. All I can say is that we’re now practically b-fries!

A Wigger Being Heckled By An Asian Dressed Up As Salvador Dali

The next day, Katie and I decided to soak in the sun and take a break from the city by heading out to Red Bank, NJ. I’ll spare the minute details regarding the actual trip, other than to say that NJ Transit makes the MTA look like a well-oiled machine in comparison. Perhaps I should mention that I had another tale of woe relating to the subways to share, but even I’m sick of bitching about the trains at this point, though I do love how it was recently revealed that, during a time in which NYC is laying off teachers left and right, the average yearly salary of a train conductor was revealed to be $100,000, which is before benefits and the overtime system that they regularly abuse, which afterwards nets them around $250,000. Know you outside the Big Apple know why we hate our mass transit so much (not that it would be justifiable, but for all that money, it would be nice if they, you know, actually did their jobs well).

Also, I would feel stupid talking about and not showing the one elevator operator on the 1 trains station (first off, what a worthless job: getting paid to push the elevator button, and from what I’ve gathered, its given as a form of punishment to employees, but they’re still making a minimum of $64k a year, so the joke is still on us the public) who was literally freaking out because the PSP that she uses to watch anime had just run out of juice. Such a dumbass should have totally filmed the scene with my iPhone. BUT ANYWAY, instead of just taking vanilla plain pics of the city, I tried to concentrate on the more off the beat path aspects. Like…

… Which was found in a hip youth culture shop, basically a non-corporate version of Urban Outfitters (there’s now one in the city I should add, along with a Pinkberry wannabe, of course). Right next to it was an inoperable Galaga machine with this sign…

Meanwhile, in a similar shop down the street they had this most magnificent of things…

… And yes, we bought it. Look at the price tag; it was only $20!

After soaking in some sun by the water (in which my ears got burnt, and over a week later, it’s still oozing yellow puss), we made our way back to NY. Katie took our precious cargo home, whereas I made my way to DUMBO, for the RE/Mixed Media Festival, where I was a schedule speaker for the Extending Game Culture panel (which I stupidly forgot to promote in my last blog post, but hey, that’s what Twitter is for)…

Upon arrival, I was taken back by how swanky the venue was, which was the Galapagos Art Space. Some guy was on-stage, giving a slide show, a middle aged white dude trying to act all street, and was being heckled by some Asian acting like Salivdor Dali. Brooklyn, lol. On the positive side, it was a change of pace from the usual crowd found at animu shows. As I would discover, faux Dali was one of the guests who had grown impatient over the wigger’s presentation going way over. Eventually he took the stage and talked over Joseph Cornell?s Rose Hobart while some chick in a garbage bag did interpretive dancing. It was what it was. ART!!!

Next was a panel that was entirely centered on that scene from Downfall, and how folks love to make fun of whatever via that scene in which Hitler freaks out in the bunker. The panel was actually quite awesome btw….

Then it was time for myself, Jesper Juul and Paul Jannicola. Jesper talked about the indie game culture, where folks are creating smaller, more personal games, while Paul talked about Second Life and how it’s players are molding the game’s landscape to reflect themselves. Whereas I… talked about chiptunes I think? I came in grossly unprepared and rambled on like an idiot. Thankfully I was at least dressed sharply; as you can seen, I was sporting the ultra hawt limited edition Collapsed Desires Nullsleep tour shirt…

… Unfortunately couldn’t stay for long; at this point it dawned onto me that the rash which had been benign up until recently was starting to become really bothersome, so I figured it might be best to follow a friend’s advice and avoid all alcoholic consumption in case it was an infection (with was before I would discover that it indeed was), and that meant passing on the seven hundred or so offers for a free beer. And since the afternoon’s fun in the sun had taken its toll on me as is (and certainly had done my skin no favors), I slipped out in the middle of the short film fest, which seemed pretty ultra rad, particularly the Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan/Goodfellas mash-up. You sorta have to see it to understand.

“Note The Gun.”

Last Monday and Tuesday evenings was spent at the IFC Center with Katie to see Crispin Hellion Glover, in the flesh. Last I saw George McFly/Rubin Farr was some years ago, at the Anthology Film Archives, who presented a screening of WHAT IS IT?, the first installment of his IT trilogy. For years I’ve been waiting patiently the day in which I’d be able to witness the second chapter, entitled IT IS FINE. EVERYTHING IS FINE! And that day was last Monday, followed by a second helping of part one the evening after….

IT IS FINE stars Steven C Stewart, a man with cerebral palsy in a script that he wrote himself (Glover, the chief architect behind the project, came across the script in the mid 80s and basically knew it was his life mission to create the motion picture; the end product is something he’s passionately proud off, to the point of constantly referring to it as the greatest movie he might ever be attached to). Throughout the film, Stewart, as a man who clearly has a severe case of CP, encounters numerous women who, despite being well aware of his handicap, are still attracted to him to various degrees, in some cases even falling madly in love. Steward doesn’t play some wholesome, helpless, and benign person, as most films tend to depict individuals with such a condition; he’s a gigolo, one that has a strong affinity for women with long hair. Oh, and he also murders his lovers in cold-blooded fashion as well. At face value, it’s basically Stewart’s sexual fantasies brought to the big screen, but there’s more than just that. Some might call the entire project exploitive, but as Glover also loves to point out, calling something exploitive means that money is being made, or at least a significant amount, and that’s really not the case here.

It’s worth noting that Stewart was placed in a nursing home in his 20s/30s, where he was inaccurately diagnosed as someone with mental retardation, and was treated as such for over ten years. Perhaps the story is the byproduct of someone’s mental anguish from such a traumatic ordeal? Or maybe not; everyone has bizarro sexual fantasies, and a flat-out ugly inside, even those that society deems as being incapable of, due to our tendency to idealize the crippled. Which was a considerable factor in Glover’s desire to make such a movie, to present such a notion to the audience, one that is rarely challenged these days (and hence why each screening is accompanied by a Q&A, and why these films will NEVER be on DVD, where they can be viewed out of context).

Though back to the movie itself, calling it strange or weird is an understatement to the most extreme. First you’ve got a guy with cerebral palsy going on dates and then killing them, but the way it’s presented, primarily the dream-like quality of the cinematography and especially the sets (which are the handiwork of the film’s co-director, David Brothers), along with the equally otherworldly acting, provided by a cast of mostly unknowns and amateurs (with the exception of Crispin’s father Bruce, whom I’ve been a fan of for years), all help to fashion one of the most pleasantly unsettling psychological dramas in modern cinema. As well as one of the most unflinching and uncompromising films ever produced, period.

For anyone that wishes to know more about the first movie, there’s always my overview from over five years ago (which unlike most stuff I’ve written in the past doesn’t make me cringe too much). But once again, Glover and Stewart co-stars as opposing deities that oversee the trials and tribulations of a young man with down’s syndrome as he attempts to go home, encounters friendly and not so friendly folks (much of the cast has down’s syndrome as well), and befriends snails… whom he kills by pouring salt on them (one of whom is voiced by Fairuza Balk, who produces one of the most genuinely blood curdling screams ever in a movie).

Each screening was preceded by a slide show, in which Glover narrates passages from his books and projects the actual pages. The books themselves are primarily old, obscure, and most importantly now public domain works that he re-edits and enhances with original line-work and old artwork/photographs that are just as obtuse. The presentations themselves have a definite Vaudeville like feel to them and are immensely enjoyable, due to Glover’s spirited theatrics, and were well worth the price of admission alone. And following each screening was the aforementioned Q&A, in which Glover attempts to answer any and all questions, which was equally compelling, due to how frank and genuine the actor/director is. I recall the same thing many years ago being somewhat of a train wreck, but not so much this time, since people are more aware of what Glover is attempting to, though there was this one brainless woman on night one, who kept asking the stupidest questions. Yet Glover to his credit was able to turn them into something useful and insightful; I could have seriously seen him speak all night. And if he had it his way, he would have as well; he kept stating that he’s read all these complaints on the internet, in which he never properly addressed everyone’s questions, and was adamant about doing so there.

Way too much ground was covered to properly relay here, but I will say that my favorite bits of insight related to him as an actor; both his father and mother were actors and, given the times he was raised, which was the 70s, he expected to arrive in Hollywood to work in a similar environment, and that was to work on movies that “asked questions.” But we all know that the 80s were a very different time, thanks to Star Wars and Jaws and the advent of the blockbuster in general, and he immediately found himself extremely unhappy. The nonsense that happened to him during Back To The Future 2 and 3 (in which he passed on, so the producers got another actor to play his part, by going so far as to put in make-up to look like him) certainly did not help matters, to the point of basically becoming as underground a Hollywood actor could go. But as he would discover, the only way movies that he felt needed to be made to exist in the first place would be to create them himself. And that would mean dealing with the Hollywood system that he had previously shunned and returning to acting for the high paychecks they provide. Yet by aligning himself with the right folks, he’s managed to retain his integrity and continue to create highlights in films that would be otherwise mundane (the two Charlie Angles flicks immediately come to mine). And because he’s been able to produce two films thus far, with more on the way, Glover is far from bitter, but completely appreciative for the chance to contribute to big productions. It’s just so refreshing to see a truly independent artist creating profoundly original works by playing the established system instead of just sitting around and complaining about it. The talks also made clear what a genuine and nice guy Glover is; his work with Glover is hardly exploitive but cause for serious praise, for returning the privilege he’s been bestowed by giving a voice to those who otherwise have none in filmmaking.

The only serious downside is how I really wanted to meet the guy and shake his hands, and even get my copy of his album autographed (note: getting stuff is something I EVER engage in, but it just felt appropriate this time). But by the end of the second night, my illness had really taken its tool on me and I just wasn’t in the best condition to interact with a personal hero of mine. Oh well, next time the two movies come to town. As for the first installment, IT IS MINE, I actually got the chance to ask when it’s coming: not for some time. Glover is busying touring and acting in other movies since it’ll be the most costly of the three films to produce. Plus he’s got other personal projects he wishes to work on first, like one involving him and his dad. Can’t wait!

And at the very least I finally got my chance to pick up his books…

Attract Mode X My Girlfriend

So I got an IM from Katie last Wednesday afternoon, informing that a buddy of mine had just purchased a bunch of comics from her. That buddy in question was none other than Brandon btw, and we both wondered what prompted the sudden shopping spree. And then the following finally showed up in my Google Reader: the long awaited news that Katie will soon be adorning the Attract Mode shop! Once again, here’s a little sneak peak…

… Wait till you see the full thing, your head will asplode. Also, since Adam is finally blogging on a more semi-regular basis, might I mention that there’s additional awesomeness on the way? I don’t want to spoil the surprise, but there’s something else coming down the pipe courtesy of our pal Lamar, but till then, here’s a totally primo comic he recently posted on Flickr…

… I approve of smoking Mega Man wholeheartedly! Then you’ve got this totally boss reminder that Gradius recently turned 25!

… Oh, and this (slightly NSFW) comic has nothing to with gaming, but is still too awesome not to share!

iPhone 4 < Ip Man 2

On Monday, iPhone 4 was formally revealed to the world. So what do I think? Me want, obviously. Though I might forgo the early upgrade offer from AT&T and continue crossing my fingers for a Verizon model (which some say is still on tap, but later this year, around the fall). Then again, the new antenna structure of the device should theoretically reduce the number of dropped call/improve voice quality. For an explanation how, simply click this link, and I guess it’s an acceptable tradeoff, or those ugly looking slits. Yes, I’m one of those Apple fans.

The new gyroscope sounds interesting, and opens up all sorts of potentials when it comes to gaming, which unfortunately will be hindered by the screen’s small size as before. But that retinal display (which sounds way too much like Blast Processing, if you catch my drift) sounds super sexy, and the real reason NOT to get an iPad, at least the current edition with the now inferior screen. Speaking of which, Adam is the very person to truly sell me on the idea of getting the damn thing, which might be an invaluable tool when selling Attract Mode goods at shows (especially with the new credit card payment app that just came out). Plus, he confirms that Eliss does indeed look beautiful on the thing; the only reason why I would want the thing is play games, primarily those in which the fingers get in the way on the iPhone.

In the end, I guess it all depends on how slow iOS 4 (still don’t understand why Jobs and company didn’t rename it OS i, like OS X) will make my 3G3. Though what really got me hot and bothered was the schedule for the New York Asian Film Fest 2010 which finally got posted on the Subway Cinema blog! Unfortunately its not as manageable as it would be on the NYAFF site proper, so I’ll have to wait before making my final schedule, though there’s a few stand outs already mostly on the Japanese side, primarily Symbol from Hitoshi Matsumoto, aka the brains behind Big Man Japan, Golden Slumber, from Yoshihiro Nakamura, the director from last year’s absolutely amazing Fish Story, and Doman Seman, from Go Shibata, the director of The Late Bloomer, which is still one of my all-time NYAFF flicks ever.

Meanwhile, on the Hong Kong/Chinese side, virtually every film has Simon Yam, Donnie Yen, and Sammo Hung, and trust me, I’m not complaining! First off is the chance to see on the big screen the legendary Eastern Condors. Oh man. The complete, uncut version of Red Cliff is also playing, and Crazy Racer looks, well, crazy! Finally, at the very top of my list of “must sees” for the entire festival would have to be the headlining Ip Man 2!!! Cannot wait. Though I’m already dreading all the hassles that might come with Lincoln Center. Time will only tell.

Grand Theft Auto: Horsey

As for what I’ve been playing…

- Super Mario Galaxy 2: Oh God, this game is simply pure magic. While not as groundbreaking as the first game, for obvious reasons, it’s still just as much fun. Everything is just bigger and bolder, primarily the level designs. The game is definitely harder, but I appreciate the challenge, mostly since it doesn’t feel cheap (though I hear it gets incredibly frustrating later down the road). Plus all the new abilities are actually tons of fun and do not become tiresome after fifteen seconds as originally feared, though it’s only because of the aforementioned brilliant levels (by themselves, they are pretty hokey). And the cherry on the top is Yoshi of course! Like the first one, it’s a game I don’t want to ever end.

- Red Dead Redemption: I let this one sit on my desk for a good while, which shows how appreciative I am of Rockstar for no longer being on their shit list. But after hearing EVERYONE rant and rave about how awesome it is, I finally had to give it a shot. And… eh, don’t believe the hype. Then again, I was never the biggest fan of Grand Theft Auto 4, which is what Red Dead essentially is. The lousy controls from before are back, and at least I had better luck with a few of the rides in GTA as opposed to my steed. Though the biggest issue is how it’s difficult to keep track of what the hell you’re supposed to be doing, and conversely, it’s not nearly as easy to get yourself involved in silly hijinks/goof off, which is the biggest deal breaker for me. Alas, the faux big apple has more to offer than the wild west. Though on the plus side, much like Niko Bellic, the voice acting for John Marston is phenomenal, as is most of the cast. And as before, I want to stick around to see how his tale unfolds, but whether that actually happens is an entirely different story.

- Kira Kira: I feel like a real asshole because I promised MangaGamer a review ages ago, but I’ve just been so busy with work that forces me to stay in OS X mode. And whenever I do find the time to switch over to XP mode and give this visual novel a go, I just… start to fall asleep. If some hot and heavy animu sex doesn’t happen soon (or any sort of interactivity), gonna uninstall the thing.

- FixPix: not really a game, just a pretty time waster on the iPhone, but hey, I’m a big fan of eBoy, so it’s all good to me. Here’s what it looks like in action.

- Truckers Delight: Remember that extremely well animated pixel short that gets pretty misogynistic and downright offensive? There’s an app for that, and thanks to Adam, I managed to nab it for just $1 (normal price is like $5), and as of this writing, it’s still on sale. And truth be told… it’s so awesome that I would actually recommend it at full price! Though I have to assume it’s only as silky smooth on a 3GS.

- No More Heroes (PS3): Yes, it finally arrived!!!

Thanks again to my very generous hook-up in Japan! Anyhow, just started it, and the going thus far been surprisingly tough. My primary issue is how I still don’t get the controls; there’s a part of the tutorial in which I simply can’t advance and I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing! Guess I’ll have to have the Wii version running simultaneously to switch back and forth, then and hope that it asks for the same things in tandem.

As for those other goods pictured, believe it or not, they’re not for me but for YOU! Stay tuned for details.

“Now Sasquatch Can Play Halo 3!”

Check this out: an interview with Eric and JC, the masterminds behind Tiny Cartridge, and I somehow come up as a question! So random, but cool nonetheless. And also, Andrew Rosenblum’s GameLife, nevar forget.

Well once again, there’s a billion awesome and cool game related thing from across the web that I’d love to highlight, but I just don’t have the time to do as through a job as I’m mostly known for. So instead, gonna just have to pass along a few random bits and pieces that most have yet to appear elsewhere (I think) and just whatever else I just feel like brining up!

- Here?s a close-up look at my latest desktop…

… Courtesy of Haruichi via Pixiv. Here?s the whole thing for those who want to spice up their backgrounds.

- On a semi-related note, check out this awesome piece from Corey Lewis

- I don’t often link to Destructoid, but I must say, this piece on the series finale of Lost is a compelling read, one that’s totally on the money.

- So whose your favorite Katamari cousin? Mine would have to be Opeo!

- As some might have heard, the iPad’s release in Japan was a very big deal there. Case in point; here’s Nobuyoshi Sano, aka Sanodg (responsible for some of the best tunes in Ridge Racer and Tekken from over the years) expressing his excitement

- And here’s something that mixes the previous two item, of sorts: focus testing for Noby Noby Boy on the iPad. God bless Keita Takahashi; now there’s a dude that truly Thinks Different.

- It’s official: Strike Witches for the Xbox 360 blows. This and word that the Deathsmiles 2 port sucks is a double blow for shmup loving 360 owners.

- Also via the SC, again, I’ll be doing a proper link dump later down the road, but I can’t help ask: did you hear about the monk that used a Wii to molest a little boy?

- And no doubt that most of you have witnessed the splendor that is Thretris’s Tron NES, but just in case

- Via Figure.fm, a Jill Sandwich…

- Time for a bunch of random Pokemon pics! First, via GamOvr

- What a kawaii day; time for bento!

- And these are just from the 800 or so random Tumblrs I frequent…

- It’s the very first screenshot of Sonic the Hedgehog! This one again reminds me that I need to get off my ass the go through my milk crates of old Diehard Gamefans, to track down that very first screenshot of Mega Man X, which depicts the opening stage, but during the day and with blue, blue skies… anyone know what I’m talking about?

- The latest from Persona (not the game, but the cartoonist)…

… BTW, are we finally gonna hear about Persona 5 soon or what?

- The past couple of weeks marks the three year anniversary of the epic trip to Japan I went on with Joe Simko and his now wife June. The end of May/early June is always when we get nostalgic, as well as talk of returning next year always pops up. Though I wish I was there this very second; The King Of Games is celebrating 8 years worth of 8-bit attire with a special exhibition at their Shibuya location

- So which of these three sets of Super Mario playing cards do you prefer? 8-bit all the way, baby.

- May as well stop by Tiny Cartridge for a tiny bit, mostly for the super important news. Like how the classic h-game Fatal Relationships has just been ported to the DS! I’m excited at least.

- Not nearly as creepy is this custom Zero Suit Samus figure!

- A rhythm action game starring a gothic lolita? It’s like someone read my mind!

- It’s always intriguing whenever games are used as a medium for social commentary, like Mario Bros – BP Oil Edition

- And recently, Suda51 recently showed a glimpse of the long overdue DS port of The Silver Case. Man, what I would do to get my hands on that game… translated of course. Though considering how poorly Flower, Sun, and Rain did, despite being game of the year for 2009 and all…

- Speaking of Grasshopper Manufacture, has everyone been following along with the UAA Quiz or DIE? I wasn’t able to submit my answer to question number two in time, despite it being super easy, due to be distracted with my skin condition and all, and truth be told, I have zero clue what the answer to question number three could be.

- And just posted by the official Grasshopper Twitter feed is one of the many reasons why FSR is so mind-blowing, which is the soundtrack.

- Speaking of audio, I wonder why Margaret Moonlight’s song in the PAL version of No More Heroes 2 has been changed?

- It’s Zelda 2, but as a FPS. Okay.

- Speaking of Zelda…

- Meet Josh, a teen werewolf. Not sure if it’s real or not (please dear God let it be real), but at least it’s video game related (at the very end).

- I know it’s old, but this Red Dead Redemption glitch clip never fails to make me lol.

- Katie passed this one along, and it’s for all the Grand Theft Auto: Jesus/The You Testament fans out there.

- And via Joe Salina comes proof positive that the greatest achievements are often the most unnecessary: a speedrun for Family Feud SNES.

- I usually have a bias against anything that’s baby related, but since it’s from Zack

- From Mia I believe. Goes without saying that I?d love to read the rest!

- And via Job, even though it’s not game related the least bit…

… Hey, I loled. I also wonder if I won?

- Here?s a picture of a PlayStation covered in ants. Why, I have no idea…

- All day today I’ve been putting the finishing touches upon my chiptunes piece for next week’s EGMi (well, finishing touches as in emailing various artists and getting their permission to feature their music; its the art director that’s been legit busy laying the thing out). BTW, the latest issue just came out, and it features my first work for it! I’m the one who did the Dead Rising 2 preview, yay.

Anyhow, Josh recently posted a chiptunes article of his own, and not surprisingly, its far more nitty gritty than mine will be. Though in my defense, of course he knows all the in?s and out?s of the of the software and hardware, the dude’s an 8bit musician himself!

- Finally, I’m surprised more of a stink hasn’t been made of Hey Baby, aka the world’s first feminist first person shooter. Or maybe it’s all over the news? Haven’t checked in on Kotaku in ages. Sorry Steve.

The Road Ahead

So next week is E3, and to be honest, I can’t recall a time in which I’ve cared any less. And the feeling is apparently universal; of the folks that I’ve asked, who aren’t game journalists mind you, almost no one knew it was even coming up, let alone give a rat’s ass as well. Other than the sequel to Contra Hard Corps, there’s really nothing I’m dying to know more about. Though it ultimately won’t take a whole lot me to all of a sudden care about mainstream gaming again (case in point: I’m super intrigued by this latest Mortal Kombat reboot). At any rate, I’ll doing the contractually obligating video game blog rundown once the dust settles. Maybe.

On the horizon much sooner is Hideo Kojima’s visit to NYC, to help celebrate the launch of Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker (I’m seriously considering getting another PSP, cuz I refuse to move from my custom M33 500 firmware, yet I absolutely NEED to play this game). Like for part 4, he’ll be appearing at UNIQLO, but I won’t be there this time.

Katie and I have been planning to hit Wildwood for many weeks now, and even though being under the sun is one of the last things I should be doing, given my skin condition, I’m still going. Besides, its not like I was going to go in the water anyway; now I have a medical reason to be in the arcades the entire weekend! Plus, the new batch of MGS shirts at UNIQLO look kinda poopy, hence why I don’t mind missing out. Though if anyone is going and wouldn’t mind picking up an extra Big Boss shirt in XL, I’ll pay you back!

Also, Jeremiah is rolling back into town that same evening, to play the NYC leg of his tour. Am definitely bummed I’ll be missing that for sure. Catch him if you can! I heard he tore LA a new one.

And before heading off to Jersey, gonna try to boot into XP long enough to sign up for Cosmic Break. Hey, it looks like Custom Robo, but with tits! Alright, that’s it for now. Later.

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