Well it would seem that there’s still plenty of talking going around in regards to this past weekend’s New York Comic Con. Last night MK informed that I had actually made it on to The Beat, one of the hottest comic related blogs out there, which is maintained by Heidi MacDonald, which entails a certain degree of bragging rights among certain circles (I’ve actually known Heidi for some time now, she’s one the first folks I became acquainted with in the professional world of comics… and on an unrelated note, she mentioned to me at the show that the Unlucky mini had also been reviewed or something, but I was totally unaware of this, and can’t seem to find it).
Anyway, my report rounded out her latest list of post-show perspectives, which was filed under “conspiracy theory “ (which everyone can see here). Great! Now everyone is probably thinking that I’m some sort of crackpot idiot. Not that I’m not used to that label, of course. I guess the funniest part is how I’m quoted as saying “don’t quote me on this”, literally. But the worst part is easily the typos, which I’ve since fixed in the post, but I guess the embarrassment has been done.
Also, Job relayed to me news of some hijinks that took place during an after-show event on Saturday night between Jeremiah, otherwise known as nullsleep, noted chiptunes artist extraordinaire, and some Magic playing nerd. It also served to illustrate that comic nerds and video game geeks do not necessarily make the best mix…
Basically, Jeremiah was giving a performance at a GNG function that was sponsored by the Comic Con (which I had totally forgotten about, mostly due to all the crap that had taken place earlier in the day). And right in the middle of his performance, a Magic: the Gathering “referee” came up to him and started giving nullsleep shit. He asked to turn the music down… I’m guessing that all that crazy loud music was getting in the way of officiating some important Magic match. But before he could finish, nullsleep gave the guy the finger and told him to get the fuck out of his face, which in turn really pissed the ref off and I guess he started flying off the handle, requiring Josh (a.k.a. Bit Shiffter, also an excellent chiptunes performers and super cool guy) to step in and pull the angry nerd away. Immediately afterwards, the mother of one of the Magic card playing dorks came up to inform Jeremiah that “This really is obnoxiously loud.” To which nullsleep made sarcastic apologies and turned it up even louder until she backed away.
There’s even video of this all. It dark and grainy, and apparently most of the action with the angry Magic ref is off camera, but its still worth a look (especially if you want a small idea what it looks like to see a guy make music purely with Game Boys).
I should also mention that Josh has a new release which everone with any sense or sensibilities should download pronto.
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So I’ve been super busy the past few days trying to play catch-up. Getting sick and having a f’d up Mac really put me behind, so I’ve been scrambling ever since. For this who are curious, I have decided to stick with Tiger on my eMac, because I just can’t spare any more time tinkering around with my system. Its actually running okay now, so I’ll see how it goes (though I sure as hell am not updating from 10.4.0). There was some symposium on the subject of Hollywood and gaming that I wanted to catch last night, but I figured it would be best to stay at home and work on the book (plus once I was home, warm and toasty, I just didn’t feel like braving the arctic tundra that NYC has become).
I’ve also been trying to catch up on gaming news, and while I’m going to make a huge monster post of all the crazy shit that others who’ve been out of the loop should check out, I just wanted to pass this along right now since my mind has still been blown since seeing it yesterday: not one, but two folks at the GAF decided to post a thorough chronology of the Super Mario canon…
This first one, by forum member Amir0x is extremely comprehensive, and accounts for almost every single Mario game and appearance to date:
0028 MK
- Baby Mario is born
- Baby Luigi is born
- Baby Koopa is born
- While being transported to their destination home, stork drops baby Mario
- Yoshi’s Island begins
0010 MK
- Mario departs home, leaving Luigi to tend to things.
- Mario takes job jumping over barrels thrown by Donkey Kong
- Mario and Luigi have first run in with King Koopa in “Super Mario Bros.”
- After Koopa is defeated, he vows revenge.
0009 MK
- Exhausted from the journey to defeat Koopa, Mario falls asleep.
- Mario has a crazy dream in which sprites from the Mario world are pasted into the Doki Doki Panic world.
- Events of “Super Mario Bros. 2″
- When Mario wakes up, he is kidnapped.
0008 MK
- Luigi goes searching for Mario
- “Mario is Missing” begins
- Luigi locates Mario, but to his surprise it was all a trap to send them to an alternate dimension.
- Mario and Luigi are paper thin in this dimension. Alternate dimension Koopa is pretty pissed with this revelation, determined to stop them from ruining this world like they did in the original dimension.
- Events of “Paper Mario” take place
0007 MK
- Events of “Paper Mario: Thousand Year Door” take place.
- Find wishing star again, wish themselves back to original dimension.
0006 MK
- Right away, Koopa kidnaps the princess again and Mario goes to save her. But a huge fucking sword slams through the roof of Koopa castle.
- Events of “Super Mario RPG”
0005 MK
- Mario takes a break and tries to give up the hero business. Tries his hand at teaching math, typing, doctor, construction work and even dancing. Events of “Mario Teaches Typing”, “Mario Teaches Math”, “Dr Mario” and “DDR Mario” take place. Somehow, Koopa found a way to fuck with all of it. So Mario goes back.
- Koopa has a new plan, so he orders 7 kids from the stork.
- Ludwig, Roy, Morton, Wendy, Iggy, Lemmy and Larry enter the world.
0001 MK
- After Mario re-enters the hero business, Bowser creates a fleet of airships.
- Mario is like ‘oh shit’, and goes to destroy them. Defeats Koopa kids one by one.
- Events of “Super Mario Bros. 3.”
0003 BK
- Events of “Super Mario World”
- As a favour to Yoshi for helping out, they treat Yoshi to a Safari and also to cookies. “Yoshi’s Cookies” and “Yoshi Safari” occur
- Mario calls up Nintendo and gets Yoshi a contract for “Yoshi’s Story”.
- Koopa tries to go legit, creating family friendly hotels all around the land
0005 BK
- After getting into a drunken argument with Luigi, Mario swears Koopa is doing evil again and goes to shut down his hotels.
- Events of “Hotel Mario”
- Koopa swears off doing good, and vows revenge on the Mario Bros. once again.
0006 BK
- After using a 3D ray on all the world which turns everything into 3D, Bowser takes over Peach’s Castle.
- Mario is invited to a party, but it’s just a trap. Events of “Mario 64″
- After the party is saved (and turned into a neverending game series, “Mario Party”), Princess Peach sets up a series of sports tournaments around the mushroom kingdom.
0007 BK
- “Mario Golf” tournaments occurs
- “Mario 3 on 3 Basketball” tournaments occurs
- “Mario Kart” tournaments occurs
- “Mario Tennis” tournament occurs
- “Mario Baseball” tournament occurs
0008 BK
- Luigi is jealous that every sports tournament is named after his brother, so after he hears he has won a free mansion he goes off to live alone.
- But the mansion is filled with ghosts, and he has to suck that shit away.
- Events of “Luigi’s Mansion”
- Luigi is still pissed.
- Mario is starting to get pretty egotistical, and makes some offhanded comment about how platforming is a mans job. Not fit for girls. Peach storms off, starring in “Super Princess Peach”
0009 BK
- When Peach comes back, and Luigi comes back… they’re still angry. Mario is angry everyone left him without anything to do. Some Nintendo characters are furious that Nintendo went carts for N64. Koopa is pissed at everything.
- “Super Smash Bros.” occurs. Everyone agrees the fighting calms some nerves. They should do it again sometime.
0010 BK
- And so they do it again, the following year. “Smash Bros. Melee” occurs.
0012 BK
- Mario agrees that it’s time to take a vacation. They fly to a beautiful island, except Bowser is back again. No break. Events of “Super Mario Sunshine”
0014 BK
- Mario learns of a time machine, which he thinks he could use to stop Koopa from ever coming to be. He uses it, but unfortunately he and Luigi are sent reeling throughout time.
- Events of “Mario in Time”
- At the end, Koopa damages their time machine and Mario and Luigi awake in Brooklyn, 1992.
0015 BK
- They become actual plumbers, and fight bowser and save peach again. “Mario Bros. The Movie” occurs
This second one, while incomplete since it was originally written in 1993, and a ton of Mario games have come out since, the list is still notable because its a bit easier to follow, plus it includes events from games that the first list missed (like Donkey Kong Jr. and Super Mario Land). It even notes stuff that happened in that lame-ass Super Mario cartoon:
1981 – Mario defeats Donkey Kong and rescues the maiden (later known as Pauline).
1982 – Mario, in his one and only loss, is beaten by Donkey Kong’s son, Donkey Kong Jr.. Both apes escape. Mario, the carpenter, searches for a new line of work.
1983 – Mario, and his younger brother Luigi, start work as plumbers. The Mario Bros. plumbing works is quickly exterminated of the vermin that dwelled there.
1985 – Mario and Luigi, while plumbing away, “found a secret warp zone while working on a drain” (SUPER MARIO BROS. SUPER SHOW). They are sucked into the Mushroom Kingdom, where they rescue the red-haired Princess Toadstool from the clutches of Bowser, the Koopa King. Apparently, Bowser killed off the Pincess’s father.
1985 – Mario returns to Brooklyn, New York, where he and Pauline play a game of Pinball.
1985 – Still in New York, Mario umpires a few tennis matches for some extra dough. Luigi must be off plumbing.
1985 – Mario takes up golf, but still is having trouble making ends meet.
1985 – Mario and Luigi, in a last ditch attempt to pay their rent, start working as a wrecking crew. Unfortunatly, the evil Foreman Spike drives them off.
1987 – Mario takes a job as a boxing referee. Quits the job…can’t stand the graphic violence, especially between Mike Tyson and Tyson’s female “friends”.
1988 – Mario and Luigi return to the Mushroom Kingdom. One night, Mario dreams about an enslaved land called Sub-Con. Mario, Luigi, Princess Toadstool (still red-headed), and the loyal Toad (a mushroom retainer…what is a “retainer” anyway?) stop the evil toad/frog Wart…only to find out that the four had fought the battle in their dreams.
1989 – Mario challenges Luigi to a friendly game of Tetris.
1989 – Mario umpires a tennis match again…but in the “Real World” (SUPER MARIO BROS. SUPER SHOW quote).
1989 – Mario starts smashing bricks from his spaceship.
1989 – Mario saves Princess Daisy from the clutches of the evil Tatanga in Sarasaland.
1990 – Mario does some golfing.
1990 – For a second time, Mario defeats Bowser, King of the Koopa, who tried to take over the Mushroom world with his 7 Koopalings.
1990 – Mario tries his hand at doctoring in the Mushroom Kgdom Hospital. The Princess appears to be blonde.
1991 – Mario judges a F-1 race.
1991 – Mario visits Mexico to visit Qix.
1991 – Mario golfs again.
1991 – Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi the dinosaur rescue Princess Toadstool (red-blonde) from King Koopa and his Koopalings, who have invaded Dinosaur Land.
1992 – Yoshi and Mario team up to help Yoshi pig out.
1992 – Mario gets a land grant from the Princess, and goes to live in Marioland…a tiny island off the tip of the Mushroom Kingdom. Unfortunatly, an evil anti-plumber named Wario, a long-time enemy of Mario’s since childhood (interesting, since Mario grew up in Brooklyn and War is just a yellow weirdo), took over Marioland before Mario arrived. The Mushrooms were hypnotized, and a bunch of Mario-hating Koopa Troopas, Goomba, Piranha Plants, etc. came to fight Mario. Mario won, yet again, and takes control of his own tiny kingdom.
1993 – Mario and Yoshi open their own cookie factory. They rush to keep up with the hundreds of thousands of orders.
1993 – Mario dissappears, so Luigi goes off to find him. Luigi’s first ever solo quest…
199_ – Luigi and Princess Toadstool are about to tie the knot, when Koopa appears and whisks the Princess away. Angry, Luigi sets off to free his bride. Best man Mario, Usher Toad, and Flower Reptile Yoshi join him. Luigi stops Koopa just before the hypnotized Princess is about to say “I do … Bowser”.
199_ – Toad and Yoshi set off to rescue the Mario Bros., who dissappeared. They find them at the clutches of King Bowser Koopa, Wart, Donkey Kong and DK Jr., the space freak Tatanga, and Wario. Just when things look bleak, the Princess saves the day.
199_ – The Mario Kids, Mary and Louis, set off to find Uncle Mario, as well as their parents, Princess Toadstool Mario and Prince Luigi Mario. With a little luck, and a bit of help from Toad and Yoshi, the Mario Twins beat the Koopalings at their own game.
