03/15/2005

?: The Movie

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

About fifteen or so minutes into the film, you see an older man with cerebral palsy lying in a clamshell, naked, and getting a handjob from a woman, also totally naked, with a small body and huge breasts. Actually, she’s wearing a monkey mask, so she’s not totally dude I guess. At her foot is another nude woman, lying in the fetal position, and on the ground in the dirt, wearing an elephant mask. To the right of the screen you Crispin Glover (that guy who played the dad in Back to the Future, for those who still don’t know), wearing a fur coat and sitting on a raised throne, choosing which record to play. The records themselves are bright primary colors, the kind that little kids used to play to hear some Sesame Street song back in the days. Once it starts playing, the audience laughs, at both the absurdity of the scene and the cheesy old country song that comes through. Then, after a few lines of lyrics is made out, it becomes quite clear that the song is an old racist ditty, and the audience quietly goes back to being uncomfortably silent. This is the movie, What Is It?

Late Sunday evening was the second showing of Crispin Hellion Glover’s magnum opus. I’ve been a diehard Glover fan for years, dating back to the 80′s, not because of his role in the part one of the greatest time traveling epic ever, but for his legendary appearance on Late Night with David Letterman a few years afterwards. He was this nervous ball of energy who at one point gets heckled by members of the audience (because of his really big platform shoes) and, after having a total meltdown, does a karate kick at Letterman’s head (with that huge shoe coming dangerously close to his face). Here was David Letterman, the personification of Mister Cool (well, at least back in the late 80s), becoming so flustered that he walked off his own show, and from that instance on, I viewed Glover as a hero of sorts.

Getting his album was an obsession of mine throughout junior high, and once I finally found the CD in high school, I listened to tit religiously. I made copies for various folks in school and it cemented my status as the “cool weirdo type nerd” in certain circles, and it helped to make high school a far more tolerable experience in the process.

I had heard of Glover’s bizarro films for years, but never had the means to check them out, so when word came out of the blue that his latest was playing on the big screen, I knew I absolutely had to be there. And so did others, making it the clear hot ticket of the New York Underground Film Fest. I knew it would be the case, to the point that I didn’t even mention the film was playing on this site or other public forums until I knew I had tickets (sorry to be a selfish bastard and all). But all the worries and headaches involved when it came to procuring seats were totally justified; the film was utterly amazing.

Though taken at face value, the movie is a train-wreck: there’s no real narrative to speak of, mostly scenes of folks with down syndrome running around, beating each other up, pouring salt on snails, and making out with each other. Plus there’s segments that take place in the ego or super ego or something where Glover holds court over monkey women, two down syndrome girls who vie for his affections, and a minstrel in black face that inject snail innards into his cheek. There’s also plenty of imagery thrown about, like swastikas and Shirley Temple, and even puppets. I’m the type of person who can make connections with almost anything, and even I had a difficult time following along. Also, on a purely technical level, the camera was constantly out of focus and dialogue was barely audible. But it all simply added to the “what the fuck is going on here?” sense of uneasy confusion.

As Glover explained in the Q&A afterwards, the movie really is just about weirding you out and making the audience confront with things that are just plain uncomfortable, and he totally succeeds. Nowadays, people try so hard to be “shocking!” and “extreme!” and Glover illustrated how trite such endeavors usually are, as well as most people’s attitudes and tolerance levels. When folks brag about how “sick & twisted” something is, it’s a total joke, since most are truly afraid, or just not imaginative enough, to really push the envelope. And most folks think they’ve “seen it all” thanks to the internet, and actively pursue “crazy insane shit” for entertainment. Yeah, well you really haven’t seen anything till you’ve sat down and watch two “retards” kissing and grouping each other on the big screen (and not some small shitty Quicktime window).

The Q&A also revealed much about the film’s history, and the motivations behind it, such as how the movie started as a short that clocked in at 90 minutes. After new scenes were filmed and incorporated to help flesh out a narrative, the movie was shorted to 72 minutes and became a full length feature (huh? I know). There was a somewhat confusing timeline given regarding how long the film as been in production; certain scenes, such as the ones with the down syndrome actors, were apparently shot many years prior and over the course of just a few days. The rest of the time and resources went into editing and other technical aspects (all the money that he made doing the Charlie’s Angels films went into covering costs).

What Is It? is actually the first of a trilogy. The second movie is based on a script written by Steven C Stewart, the man with cerebral palsy, and deals with his experiences and thoughts (with an emphasis on the sexual side of things) while living in a nursing home where he was labeled retarded. Shooting of that film was done as quickly as possible since Stewart’s health was failing; he even kept himself alive long enough to finish the movie (he shortly died afterwards when he choose to go off life support). Even though its not completed, Glover was quite clear and confident that it would be the greatest film he will have ever worked on.

And because of Stewart’s health, the second film was shot before the first one was finished. Meanwhile, as the first one took shape, he toured small cities around the country with a work in progress version to receive feedback, hence why there’s been so much confusion regarding its exact date of completion. The film has existed in some form or fashion for about 10 years now.

Glover also spoke about the independent film industry and how it’s not all independent, and that its just movies run by committee funded by huge corporations, but simply on a smaller scale. He also talked about indie films’ voice and the whole scene, and how it’s also just bullshit in the end, and he’s totally on the mark with that. His movie is meant to evoke a reaction, the kind that indie films talk about but don’t dare treading.

Plus, the Q&A was enjoyable if only to see Glover speak in person, which was a first for me. As both Robin and MK noted, for such a crazy weirdo, he seems so dapper and friendly in person! Hence why the New York film snobs in the crowd, which I already despise, really got on my nerves that night. Instead of asking real questions, people just love spouting off on totally nonsensical shit, or ask extremely rude questions in an attempt to make the person movie look bad and make themselves look smart or something. I remember when I saw Bruce Campbell host Evil Dead 2 and 3 a whiles back and people were seriously giving the guy attitude with questions that basically said “To be honest, you are not a very good actor and the projects you are associated with are abysmal.” I’m not saying you have to automatically kiss someone’s ass, but there’s a time and a place, and the seat that they’re occupying could have easily gone to someone else would have actually appreciated it.

Anyway, there was good number of idiots in attendance who repeatedly asked for an explanation for this scene or that, even though Glover plainly stated that the film was open for interpretation and even felt awkward even giving his POV for certain things. There was this one asshole who tried to make it seem as if the film was portraying and condoning prostitution cuz Glover must have paid for that woman who jerked off the guy for a sex act (yeah, that makes no sense to me either) but that was shot down pretty quickly when Glover explained that the woman acted for free. Sitting close to MK was the one token crazy women, who’s always present at such affairs, and was dying to get picked on so she could get on her soapbox and rant about something totally irrelevant to the movie (as is usually the case), but thankfully she wasn’t chosen (and she was really pissed from what I could tell).

Later he signed books and things in the lobby, and I wanted a chance to shake his hand (hey, I normally don’t gush over celebs, but come on… this is Crispin fuckin’ Hellion Glover!) but it was getting late, and I foolishly didn’t bring my copy of the his CD. I was tempted to get the movie poster, which is a nice old fashioned drawing of Shirley Temple a la movie poster art from the 30′s and 40s, and dressed as a Nazi though still mostly naked, with a whip sticking out of her privates. Definitely suitable for framing.
________________________________________________________________________________

As for the night prior, it was the aforementioned reunion show for the Beer Drinking Fools. And I think I might have also mentioned before, I became friends with the band through Joe, who happened to be one of his very first client when Joe was just beginning his business of doing art for bands. Plus I’m certainly that I’ve already said that they’re one of the few bands that I personally know that I actually enjoy.

Last Joe & I saw them was their “final” show at Acme a few months back and even wrote about it here. It’s really funny how folks actually read the crap I write cuz before the gig on Saturday, Steve the guitarist saw me and went “Hey! I wanna talk to you!” When he mentioned that he read what I wrote, in my mind I went “Uh-oh… I bet he’s pissed about something. But what?” Granted I write about a lot of different things and people, but I never try to be a jerk about things, but on a regular basis I’ll get some complaint from somebody that I didn’t portray them in the proper light. And to that, all I can say is that if you do something in the public eye, like a cable access show, and put your idiosyncrasies front and center, like how you’re a practicing Satanist, then expect just a wee bit of ribbing. Though thankfully, Steve was simply stoked that someone liked the last show enough to write about it.

But yeah, the band is back… minus one person. The sound had a very slightly stripped-down feel, but otherwise it was the same old noise. You honestly couldn’t tell that they hadn’t played together in months.

They went through all their hits, minus a few songs and here there due to logistical reasons, and like last time, the audience wouldn’t let them leave the stage, so they did a bunch of covers. Though things ended on a weird note when, while playing some song about how much God sucks and how Catholic priests molest kids (or something like that), some angry old guy went up to give Richie grief over the lyrics. It was just like that other crazy guy who gave the Bern from Bodenstandig grief right in the middle of the last month’s chiptune show. And like Bern, Richie did his best to calm the old codger down (he doesn’t mean to offend anyone really) but to no avail. Poor Richie…

Anyway, it was nice to see BDF rock once more, and I really hoping they stick around.

And as for the Friday night show that I was going to attend, the first leg of the Data Destruction Tour, I ended up not going (I figured that it might be better to spend the evening packing, though I mostly playing Tekken 5 with MK instead). But here’s a great write up of the event courtesy of Click-Stick.

  • http://www.vitaminsteve.com Steve

    I am bitter and jealous.

    -Steve!

  • https://www.fort90.com Matt

    Yeah, I feel bad for keeping mum, sorry :(

    When stuff like this goes on, I try to tell the folks that I think would be interested, but I honestly didn’t think you’d be into such a movie. Then again, you are a pretty big film buff…

    And I don’t even have your phone # or AIM screen-name or anything! Pass it along so I can properly pass along news.

  • http://www.angelfire.com/ny3/devildoll Jenny G.

    Abby and I saw the first show, too bad we missed you. Yeah, it was an incredible film. I wrote about it in my LJ.

  • http://www.sweetrot.com Joe

    Hey you! Get your damn re-re hands off her!

  • Tanya

    In WFMU interview Crispin said that a scene where a woman masturbates the man with cerebral palcy is sort of introduction for the second movie. The second film is entirely that man’s film and there are alot of his fantasies with women and that scene was one of them.

  • http://www.beerdrinkingfools.org Steve St. Ides

    Heyas, glad you enjoyed the show again! And yeah, that old guy getting offended at the end was weird. :P

    And don’t worry, if we ever suck, please feel free to let us know. You wouldn’t be the first one. ;)

    Rock n roll.

  • Madame Snail

    Sorry, but I am hugely disappointed with this film. All the time and money that went into getting it out, and it just seems like it could very well have remained in his head — it’s so obfuscatory. What is it? CHG wants everyone to have “their own interpretation” of his magnum opus, yet it needs a Q&A session afterward, and people still walk away confused! Well, at least all the sycophants can feel they’ve met him on some level, and maybe justify their having sat through this very SELF-indulgent movie.

Previous post:

Next post: